Where's the Major?

smudge......"What's the Major doing in the PTU?"

ollie....."I'm not sure. I think the biped is taking her to see a lady."

smudge....."What Lady?"

ollie...."I don't know. I heard her on the phone. She said something about a lady and her garden."

Mancat Monday....

biped...."Hey Heesh, look at what I found for you! It's a one size fits all cat bed."

heesh...."Yeah, yeah... We've been down that road before. There's always some part that doesn't fit."



heesh..."Can it be true? Have they actually made a one size fits all bed that actually fits me?"



heesh....."Wow it's true biped! I have my own fluffy cat bed!"

heesh...."Look! Even mousie fits in here with me."



smudge....."Biped, you should feel guilty! First you stole some poor Great Dane's bed and then you had the gall to tell Heesh that it was a cats bed."

Bad Kitty

smudge...."What's the major doing?"

ollie...."She's stalking.."

smudge...."What's she stalking? You can't even see birds from there."




ollie...."No, but she can sure wap the biped on the head when she comes in the door."



major...."And you know what the best part is? It's watching da biped jump straight up and wave her arms all around."

Friday in the Garden.....

biped...."Warning....These pictures are not for the faint of heart..."

heesh....."I don't see anything wrong with the pics"

smudge...."The only thing wrong is that we're locked up in the house and can't get out and join in the fun."

biped...."Ok, I warned you!"





biped...."In case you have poor eyes it's not two snakes having fun in the garden. . It's one snake and a worm. And the worm isn't having a very good day."

Project Catway... Episode 4

biped...."Hello bloggie friends. Episode 4 of project catway was a tad bit....boring... but it did have it's high lites. First of all they had these fancy hats. Each contestant got to design a dress based on a hat that was really bizzar. Since Ozark Mountain Cats are not trained models like Daisy and Harley our hats are going to be a lot tamer than those on the show."

biped...."Here we have model Major showing her nice buggy hat. On the real show they had an orchid hat which caused the demise of it's designer. Trust me she deserved to go."



biped..."Now our favorite contestant was safe this week but it wasn't an easy one for him. We start our review of the show with Guru Tim walking up to Casanova."

Guru Tim…..”who would wear this dress? It looks like 1988!"

Casanova…..”I have made too many mistakes. I cannot make any more mistakes. I am not like a cat with seven lives….."



major...."Dear God! I don't know what I did but it seems that two of my 9 lives have disapeared. Could you please see to it that they are restored?"




biped...."Guru Tim just shakes his head and walks on to the next contestant. Which happens to be Orchid Girl. She has a black dress and she's trying to add some bright pink stripes to it. One side of the dress is four inches longer than the other. After discussion with the Guru, she takes a pair of shears and changes the scoup neck to one of those slanty jobbers. To make up for the fact the dress is still showing too much boob she gathers up a bunch of frontal fabric and sews it down. Meanwhile the contestants discuss the disaster amongst themselves."

contestant...."There are many ways to skin a cat,, but you should bring a knife…."

screeching sound (simular to finger nails on the black board)!!!




major...."OMC! Did I hear that right? Now they're going to skin a cat! Dear God there goes another life..."

biped...."We leave you tonight with our last contestant, Peach. Grandma no longer wants to be Peach so just use your imagination. Remember she's 50+.. Every week she makes another pink dress that looks like some dress designed in 1950. This week is no exception. For some reason the dress doesn't fit on her maniquin which happens to be the same size as her model. So there she is, trying to squeeze her model into the much too small dress."

model...."It's not going to fit... YOU"RE HURTING ME!"

Peach….”it may take a stick of butter, but I’m going to get this girl in this dress.”

biped...."And with that the poor model limps off holding her breath."

Wordless Wed....

nitey night....

biped...."I think the major missed the lecture on sharing, but at least she's got napping all figured out."

Mancat Monday

biped...."It's mancat Monday and the mighty Major decides to show Smudge who the ruler of the kingdom is."

ollie...."But major isn't a mancat..."

biped...."I suspect that this is an equal opportunity kingdom."

annie...."Or queendom."



annie...."You go girl! Whap him another time for me."




biped...."Did you notice that the major's arm is already longer than smudge's? Can you imagine that whapp'n distance she's going to have in another six months?"

Fiber Fest Part 2

biped...."Welcome back friends. We start off today with hand made brooms. Traditionally the brooms were made with "broom corn" which was grown in small patches on early day farms. For people with more acreage it was a major cash crop. Today broom corn is mostly grown by the amish in Missouri and Illinois. The handles are commonly made of oak or sassafras which grows in Arkansas and Missouri Ozarks."



biped...."This booth had a varity of hand woven baskets. One of the neatest things about the Ozarks is that these artistians are more than willing to pass on their skills. Unlike other areas classes here run thirty to fourty dollars or most likely you can trade something that you make for a few lessons."






biped...."This lady is making a hooked rug from strips of wool. She's multi talented because I've also seen her spining and weaving. Spining wheels are quite expensive so she uses a home made one made mostly of pvc pipe. She also raises angora rabbits whose fur is spun into yarn.



biped...."This one was my favorite. Look at the 3d effect that she achieved."





biped...."And last is some farm bunnies. They're keeping cool by snuggling up next to some frozen bottles of water. None of these are angoras. The angoras are much larger and fluffier. They are high maitainence and need their floof removed on a regular basis in order to avoid health problems. One of my friends has hers trained to sit on her lap and she spins her yarn right off the rabbit."

A little bit of the Ozarks....

biped...."Last weekend we went to a "fiber fest" in Springfield. It was the first year of this festival so there wasn't any crowds thus making it a lot more fun."

The first booth was demonstrating lace making and tatting. Both of these are almost a lost art. The little stick things are bobbins full of thread. Each bobbin has a unique glass bead on it which helps the lace maker to tell which bobbin to use next."







biped..."This gentleman is a retired surgeon. He's demonstrating needlepoint, but unlike the needlepoint that I'm used to where the pattern is printed on the fabric, he's doing his from a paper pattern. The process is much like counted cross stich."





biped...."These are drop spindles. They are used to "spin" either fleece or fiber into yarn. They are relatively inexpensive to buy and often times are used to teach children how to spin fiber. These are rather plain, but you can find absolutely beautiful ones made here in the Ozarks. The weight of the spindle helps you draft yarn. When your yarn gets 8 to 10 inches long it's wound around the spindle and you continue "drafting". I have a friend that has a loft in her house and we had a contest to see who could draft the longest peice of yarn by dangling the spindle over the railing."



biped....."and of course a farm cat had to show up for the fiber fest."



biped...."This was the booth for the Springfield Quilt Guild. In September they're going to have one of the largest quilt shows of the state. There show is every three years and during that time they make goods to sell in a gift shop. Part of the money raised goes to charities and the other funds pay for guest speakers for guild meetings."





Please drop by tomorrow cuz we have more photos of neat ozarkian products.

Project Catway... Episode 3

biped..."Ok I skipped episode 2 because I couldn't find enough safety pins."

biped...."Episode 3 was dominated once more by Casanova. This week the contestants went to a party shop and picked out "stuff" to design their dresses. They were told by guru Tim not to use things like table cloth and wrapping paper but to use their imaginations. Of course Casanova heads right to the plastic table cloth display and starts grabbing. Then he heads to the stuffed animals and his face lit up like a christmas tree."

Casanova...."Oh look at these pluuush puppies. I want all the pluuush puppies."

biped...."The time limit ended with Casanova making a dash for the register with a wake of puppies and table clothes following him. Back at the design studio...."

contestant a...."Oh my god, what's he doing?"

contestant b...."Oh no, tell me it's not true."



model...."Oh my, he just... sob.. sob.."



casanova...."evil giggling.." Sounds of shears tearing thru pluuuush(pronounced plueesh") puppies. Piles of fluff covers the table."



biped..."the camera pans around the room focusing on the horror on the faces of the models and contestants.



contestant Peach...."I'm speachless." (peach is played by grandma who was woke up from her nap)

models dumb & dumber "Oh my that could of been us!"



biped...."Time is up and the contestants dress their models. Casanova's model is in a long dress, the front looks like some sort of shiny paper the back is the infamous greyish tableclothes. Around his model's neck he drapes a gutted puppy."



biped...."Once more Casanova is in the bottom three. The judges ask each contestant to describe their outfit. Casanova's is the worst in my opinion but a close second is another grey disaster with blue palm fronds glued on."

Judge Michael..."Please describe your creation Casanova."

casanova...."I MADE THE DRESS FROM WHAT YOU CALL, THE PLASTIC FOR TO COVER THE TABLES. I BOUGHT TWO PLUSH PUPPIES AND I MADE THIS SCARF."

biped...."The stage becomes deathly quiet. Finally judge Michael speaks."

judge Michael..."She looks like a transvestite flamingo dancer at a funeral."

judges talking to each other....."We had to decide from boring and safe or a parade float.....

sound of music.....

judge michael....."Casanova.....you are safe." Palm tree girl is eliminated."

Not so thankful Thursday...

biped...."We think the major has the right idea. We're going to find a quiet spot to hide in. It really has been a sad week on the blogosphere."

Project Catway... Episode 3

biped..."Ok I skipped episode 2 because I couldn't find enough safety pins."

biped...."Episode 3 was dominated once more by Casanova. This week the contestants went to a party shop and picked out "stuff" to design their dresses. They were told by guru Tim not to use things like table cloth and wrapping paper but to use their imaginations. Of course Casanova heads right to the plastic table cloth display and starts grabbing. Then he heads to the stuffed animals and his face lit up like a christmas tree."

Casanova...."Oh look at these pluuush puppies. I want all the pluuush puppies."

biped...."The time limit ended with Casanova making a dash for the register with a wake of puppies and table clothes following him. Back at the design studio...."

contestant a...."Oh my god, what's he doing?"

contestant b...."Oh no, tell me it's not true."



model...."Oh my, he just... sob.. sob.."



casanova...."evil giggling.." Sounds of shears tearing thru pluuuush(pronounced plueesh") puppies. Piles of fluff covers the table."



biped..."the camera pans around the room focusing on the horror on the faces of the models and contestants.



contestant Peach...."I'm speachless." (peach is played by grandma who was woke up from her nap)

models dumb & dumber "Oh my that could of been us!"



biped...."Time is up and the contestants dress their models. Casanova's model is in a long dress, the front looks like some sort of shiny paper the back is the infamous greyish tableclothes. Around his model's neck he drapes a gutted puppy."



biped...."Once more Casanova is in the bottom three. The judges ask each contestant to describe their outfit. Casanova's is the worst in my opinion but a close second is another grey disaster with blue palm fronds glued on."

Judge Michael..."Please describe your creation Casanova."

casanova...."I MADE THE DRESS FROM WHAT YOU CALL, THE PLASTIC FOR TO COVER THE TABLES. I BOUGHT TWO PLUSH PUPPIES AND I MADE THIS SCARF."

biped...."The stage becomes deathly quiet. Finally judge Michael speaks."

judge Michael..."She looks like a transvestite flamingo dancer at a funeral."

judges talking to each other....."We had to decide from boring and safe or a parade float.....

sound of music.....

judge michael....."Casanova.....you are safe." Palm tree girl is eliminated."

The Good Life...

Major....."I've tasted the good life and I'm not going back!"



biped...."Huh? Whadda ya mean?"

Major...."I mean that I"m not going to be a barn cat anymore. It's me and my plush buddies from now on."



major...."Oh by the way, you need to bring my in my liter box."

sound of footsteps and door closing. returning footsteps.

smudge...."This looks serious. We're a five box house again."