Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Newcomer Part III

major...."Hello! Hi! My name is Major Payne. What's yours?"


annie...."hiss" "hiss"

major...."Uhhh, what's your name?"


major...."Hi Hiss. That's really a unique name."

major...."Hey Hiss do you wanna play? I have nip!"


Major...."Grandma, this one's run away too. Why don't they wanna play with me?"

grandma...."I don't know sweetie. I think you may take after the biped. She has that kind of affect on people."

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Newcomer Part II

biped...."Shame on you for making fun of sisfur!"

grandma...."Well I'll be darned, it can stand up."

grandma...."Say hello to brother Smudge."



grandma...."oh my, that's bad."

smudge...."Who's going to do cpr?"

biped...."You guys are going to need a good lawyer, lieing about the good Major. You just wait till tomorrow and the real story will come out."

The Newcomer...

smudge...."Look at that thing. We need to send it off to New Zealand to stay at Misha's house."

annie...."It definetely needs some lessons on being a cat.

grandma...."Now kids, be nice to your new sisfur. I'm beginning to think she's handicaped."

smudge...."What do you mean grandma?

grandma...."Well, think of it. Have you ever seen it walk?"

smudge...."Nope, not me."

annie...."Me either."

smudge...."Maybe it's another one of those life like stuffed animals."

smudge...."Well she's taken it back to the sewing room, but tomorrow I'm going to demand that she puts it on the floor to see if it can move or not."

Friday, June 25, 2010


Ollie...."Hey Biped! Look at what I'm doing!"

biped...."What's up? You getting a catscan?"

ollie...."No, I'm getting a tan on our new tanning bed."


Thursday, June 24, 2010

We want our puter back!

Ollie...."Why did you move the keyboard? It was a lot more compfy than this thing!"

sheesh....paw paw, nudge, nudge, meow!

biped..."Go Away! Dang it quit biting me when i TYPE. yOU'VE ate four bags of temptations today and you're going to be bigger than heesh if you don't stop."

ollie....(in whiny voice) "When is the old puter coming back? I have a sharp pain in my side from laying on the desk."

biped..."The man said 3 or 4 weeks."

ollie...."biped, can a laptop computer kill ya? The pain is getting a lot worse in my side."

biped...."It will probably go away when you stand up and quit laying on that fork."

ps...if you bigify the pic's you'll see the handle of the fork.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Ozark Daisy....

biped..."Oh it's just Joya trying to imitate the stylish Daisy the Curly Cat"

smudge...."Uhhh, why is she laying down? Daisy doesn't lay down, and she's always gotta pretty hat on. Where's Joya's hat?"

biped...."As the photo session continues, the Ozark Daisy tries multiple positions."

smudge...."She's still laying down biped.. I think you have the wrong Daisy. She looks more like Daisy Duke."

ollie...."Does Joya have rickets or did the biped break her leg to get that jacket on?"

biped...."Oh dear, it appears that we've had a wardrobe malfunction."

smudge...."The real Daisy doesn't have malfunctions."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Christmas in July

smudge..."What are those things doing on our blog?"

ollie..."Be nice smudge. Look at the poor things. Someone musta smooshed their faces."

smudge...."What are they? and why are they on our blog?"

ollie..."They're our Christmas in July partners.

smudge...."Well they sure are the strangest cats I've ever seen."

Grumpy Tuesday...

biped...."Have you ever noticed that Smudge always has a frown on his face? I wonder what he's thinking."

Monday, June 21, 2010

Leave it!

biped..."Noooo, leave it... good girl."

princess...."I'm beginning to think that being a good girl isn't what it's cracked up to be."

heesh...."Did you see how she just sat there and let that wimpy kitten take the salmon treat off of the biped's knee?"

ollie...."Well we don't call her "dumb" just for the fun of it.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Take your hand off the mouse!

sheesh...."It's time to fill the kibble dish."

Thursday, June 17, 2010

One of those days.

biped..."Ok, its one of those months. First the tv died. Choked to death on cat hair most likely. Then there was Sheesh's (biped's) nervous breakdown. Both have upped their happy pills and are doing better till today when the almost new moniter (think life line, BFF) flat lined. No hint last night that there was anything wrong. Not even a flicker of life today, so the biped is stuck with a used lap top that has no programs. We'll find out tomorrow if it truly is the moniter or if the ailing computer."

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Visitor

biped...."Today was the Major's second visit. No hissing at the doggies and he/she even gave brother Smudge a kiss."

biped...."A little camera cord chewing to entertain himself."

biped...."And then a tired Major says his prayers before nodding off to sleep."

Shocking News!

major payne...."Hey! What's up Doc?"

major payne...."Sitting nice and still like the biped told me. I sure hope I get the tuna fish lollipop."

major payne...."Hey! Nobody told me that they'd do that!"

biped...."Here ya go Major. Creamed tuna (wormer) for ya."

Doc....Would you like to know what sex the Major is?"

biped...."He's a boy!..."

Doc...."No....He's a she."

Grandma...."Well in that case maybe she should have a higher rank!"

ps...."A long, long time ago the biped had a friend who wanted to start a cat breeding business. She just loved persians and thats all she could talk about. The biped saved and saved and bought her friend a little smushed face apricot colored girl kitten for Christmas. After much discussion the kitten was named Peaches. About four months later, about 1 a.m. the biped's phone rings. It's her friend and the friend says."

"Peaches is the pits!"

biped..."Huh? What are you talking about?"

friend..."Peaches is the pits. She has a thingy! She's a he!"

And thus ended the biped and her friend's dreams of raising pure bred persians.

Monday, June 14, 2010

We're Sorry

Dear Biped;

We are sorry that we are driving you nuts. We are really sorry dat mean ole brother Smudge told your friends about cutting your electric cord. We're sorry about doing our best to drive Sister Sheesh nuts. I guess we did push her too far with all the chasing and wapp'n.

You really didn't have to make Sheesh her own room, especially when you were in the room with her and the temptations and we were on the outside yowling to get in.

I hope you noticed that we were much nicer to Sister Sheesh today. She even moved outta your room into the sofa. We hope that you get over your hives really quickly.

Ollie and the OMC gang...

smudge...."snicker.... she's lucky you got to the keyboard before me."

ollie..."You weren't going to make Sheesh's peeing on the biped's carpet #6"

smudge...."Oh no, I'd never do anything like that.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

It Just Keeps getting better...

smudge...."I think I left off on #3. You're really going to enjoy 4 and 5.

4. The biped loves doing yardwork at night. So after things quieted down, and the sun set, the biped decided to prune the tree by the drive way. That was uneventful so she decided to continue on the "snake" bush by the front door. She was merrily clipping away when all of a sudden she felt a different resistance on the shears. She'd cut her expensive 100 foot extension cord in half. She'd used it this afternoon when she was trying to break into the Major's cabin and had forgotten to put it away.

5. This may be the bestest one yet. Remember the biped's "Farm?" on her computer. Well she paid $300,000.00 for a dog about two months ago. Every day she has fed it because it was supposed to learn tricks like harvesting. So Friday the biped gives it a bone and clicks "harvest trees" and good ole Spot disapeers in a cloud of dust.

Ollie...."You should see the biped's face. It's hard to tell what's bothering her more. The missing $300,000.00 dog or the $40.00 electrical cord."

Our New Award...

We got a new Award from Hermann today. We're happy to hear that he's feel'n better. We're supposed to tell 9 things about ourselves but we think it would be funn'r to tell things about the biped. Oh here's our pretty award.

Smudge....So here goes

1. The biped is cleaning up our bedroom and there is sooo much fur flying that Dumb and Dumber had a sneeze attack.

2. The biped found the Christmas present that we bought grandma two years ago that we never got to give.

3. This may be the best one yet. The biped lost the key to Major Payne's house and she had to take the door apart to get in. We just knew she was going to get stuck trying to crawl thru a window but she didn't try that.

We'll be back later cuz there is thunder outside.

Puurz Smudge....

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Friday in the Garden

Goodbye Spring!

Hello Summer!

Can we have a Vote on That?

heesh...."The biped's been mighty whiny lately."

smudge...."Yeah she's trying to convince grandma that she needs a new chair."

heesh...."Well it did poke her in the butt the other day."

smudge..."Yeah, but that's not a big deal. Half the time she's either sitting on sheesh or Annie."

heesh..."I think the seat part is really compfy. She just wants to go spend our green papers on a new chair instead of Temptations.

smudge...."I tell ya I'm gett'n mighty tired of those generic Temptations. Plus then there's the fact that there's nothing wrong with the chair in the first place.

heesh. "Lets put up a picture of the chair and let our furriends Vote on It.

smudge...."check it out buddies. Look at all the stuff'n that's left."

heesh...."Does the biped need a new chair?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Temptation Tuesday

sheesh....tap tap tap..."YO BIPED! I'm outta temptations!"

biped...."Are you sure you want another bag?"

heesh...."I'd say no. It looks like she's ready for a couple packages of Tums."

Sunday, June 6, 2010

New Improved Temptations...

sheesh....."Biped! These temptations are smaller and don't taste the same."

biped....."Uhhh, that's cuz they're the new generic Temptations."

Earlier that day....

annie...."Grandma, why are you putting our kibble in the temptation bag?

grandma....."Cuz your Mom spent all her green papers at the fabric store?."

annie...."It's a good thing that I don't like Temptations."

sheesh....."Wow Biped! These new Temptations are great!"

biped...."I'm sooo happy you liked them sheesh."


This blog is interrupted by NASCAR!

Heesh...."Go Dale! GO!

sheesh...."I just luv Juan Pablo."

smudge...."Quit hoggin the Temptations!"

biped....."Where"s Joey? There's too many orange cars."

Heesh...."I know Dale's going to win!"

Sheesh...."Alvin and Dale stand a better chance of winning than your Dale."

smudge...."Grandma, the biped's hoggin the Temptations."

biped....."tee hee. Grandma can't hear you over the crunch'n."

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The cat who thought she was a Dog....

angel...."Can I have the bowl? Huh! Give it to me the faithful companion!"

Joya....."It's my bowl, Give me the bowl. Please the bowl!

angel/Joya...."Oh NO! don't put it in the metal box! Oh No!"

pssss. biped...."A million years ago I had a cat named JJ. JJ and the neighbor's 18 month ole daughter made friends. They shared cookies and milk. I would occassionally watch the baby and when I did there was always some sort of a treat involved. All was fine until one day, while at home, Baby Diana ran to the fridge and stood there meowing. Diana's mother didn't let her visit as much after that."

Thursday, June 3, 2010

purrdy flowers....

biped....."Pink Fairie rose with a white pine in the back ground."

biped...."viburom we think. We have to prune it back several times a year because snakes like to hide under it. So far only a black snake and a milk snake, but grandma doesn't like any snake."

biped...."A new begonia and its new friends.

biped...."This is the same azeala that I posted earlier this spring. The first time it bloomed it was a brilliant pink. The second time it blooms it's a very pale apricot color.

You all have a great safe weekend.