Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Toesie Tuesday

"Shussssh! "Da Trailer King is napping!"

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Gambling Mancat

as dictated by Giggles...."Da Gigster here." "Since the biped's imagination has been compromised by her need to think up excuses for why the imitation hardwood flooring is still scattered around the house in boxes, I figured that I'd make it easy on her." As I stated before I was adopted from an animal fair in Sacramento, California." "I was crated off to Fresno where I promptly got scratched in the eye by one of my siblings. I almost lost my left eye, had to have surgery, had to wear a dreaded cone for over a month while the biped and the vet fought infections. Finally I started improving just as the biped decided to go on a road trip to Arizona to visit her cyber friend." "So Grandma, biped and MOI climbed in da car and headed off to Arizona." "Oops, I forgot to mention the litter box, and dreaded cone and the PTU that I wouldn't fit in because of the cone." "It took me about 10 minutes to quit yowling and to start enjoying the ride." I could freely walk from one end of da car to the other while waving at the people who smiled and waved at me from their cars." I got to stand on the biped's shoulder and hit her in the head wif da cone." "You should of seen the people wave and laugh as I tickled da biped wif my tail while I bashed grandma wif da cone." "Everything went fine on the trip down, but on da way back, da car got sick wif some bad gas, or maybe it got gas, but it got real bad hiccups and eventually a nice man wif a truck showed up and da biped, Grandma and I had to cram in his truck while he towed our car to a repair shop and took us to a fancy gambling motel which of course did not allow pets." "Da biped sent grandma in to rent da room (7th floor) while we stayed outside casing da joint for an outside staircase.(none)" "Hmmm, did I mention now that it was now getting dark and I and da litter box were now inside da biped's suitcase (honest da God's truf). "Grandma comes back and we proceed towards da door and wif the strength of ten frantic cats I rip da zipper apart and spring from da suitcase and run into some bushes." "A frantic Grandma and biped quickly catch me and put me back into da suitcase which I NOW know I can escape from. Grandma is SURE dat da people in da rooms must of called security because of a peeping tom(cat) in da bushes." "We enter da back lobby and wait for an empty elevator and make a run for it." "Just as da door closes a lady's foot opens da door and we're not alone anymore." "Da biped is holding da suitcase in her arms clutching da broken zipper and I'm trying my best to escape." "Da suitcase is jumping up and down and just as we get to the lady's floor I let out a meow." "I think Grandma has passed out by now and da biped and the lady stood there silently staring at the writhing suitcase." "Finally da elevator door opened and da lady left." "As da door closed and we began to move you could hear hysterical laughter." "To make a long story short, someone brought da car back to da motel and we all went home da next day."

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Handy Saturday

dictated by Annie.... "The biped is bored. Instead of installing our new immitation hardwood flooring, she's running around wif da flashy box annoying us. We finally got a break when its batteries died. Now the question is, how long will our break be? Will she use the indoor recharger or will she be sneaky and use da quickie 15 minute charger that she has hidden in da car?"

ps. Dats not all either. Its supposed to snow again this afternoon. Will da batteries be charged up in time for the snow storm? Will she chase da doggies around the yard to get the ultimate "Snow dog in da Snow Storm shot?" "Or will she drag one of us kitties out in da cold to take the kitty wif da wet feet shot?"

BeWare ...Bored Biped

biped.... "Look Annie! Doesn't Smudgie look cute in your dress?"
annie.... "Oh yes beloved biped. snicker...."
smudge... "Huh, what dress?"

smudge..... "ARRRRGh! My IMAGE! I'll Never live this down!"

annie... "Oh Smudgiekins. I can see blackmail in your future."

Friday, March 27, 2009

Annie's story

annie... " Its time to continue my novelette biped!"
biped... "Yes bosscat!"
annie... "The beautiful kiwi actress licked the shark pate off her lips"
biped... "Shark pate?"
annie... "Yep. Remember dat boat captain friend of yours dat used me for bait?"
biped... "Oh yes, I remember."
annie... "Well when I hit da water, I opened my mouth and bit down on da biggest fish I saw."
biped... "Wow, that must of been scary."
annie... "Nah. I grabbed dat shark wif my claws and teef and it jumped clean outta da water and landed on da deck of dat big boat."

biped... "Oh MY Gosh! And then what happened?"
annie... "hmmmm, It swallowed da boat captain! Yep dats right. "
biped... "Are you sure dats all?"
annie... "Well I did rescue dat mean boat captain. He was sooo thankful dat he cut dat shark up and made pate out of him.
biped... "I think you forgot something."
annnie... "hmmm, da truf?"
biped.... "Yes that's one thing, but I was thinking more like...." Da End"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Birds and Beasties

ollie... "Da biped built a wall on our front porch and then hung a shelf on it. Every spring a bird called a "fly catcher" builds a nest in da blue pitcher. If you look closely you can see twigs sticking out of da biped's classy looking pitcher.

There's actually three fly catcher couples that nest on our porch. They're quite friendly and not afraid of grandma or da biped."

heesh....This is our squirrel's nest. Its very well built and each year it gets a little bit bigger. Grandma says dat da squirrel must be related to da biped because her room looks just as discombobulated as dat nest.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Toesie Tuesday

annie..."ok biped, type this."
biped..."hmmmm, I remember allocating the typing duties to you cats."
annie... "If you don't type, I'll spill your diet coke on your brand new keyboard." "Ready?"
biped... "sigh.."
annie...."The eloquent Spanish actress ra..."
biped..."You're supposedly from New Zealand, you can't just change your ethnicity."
annie..."Ok,edit that to be the eloquent New Zealand actress raised her cup of cat nip tea." "Just why am I from New Zealand again?"
biped.... "Because I had a crush on a kiwi boat captain who spent hours picking out a neat name for you."
annie.... "Annie isn't really that hard of a name."
biped.... "I meant your formal name. Anahere Maia" "It's Maori and means Courageous Angel. Remember you were homeless and part of your ear was bit off."
annie.... "Ok, start typing." "The eloquent NZ actress raised the cup of cat nip tea, just as a herd of ferroucious wolv.."
biped... "sigh, there are no wolves in New Zealand." "Plus you lost the tip of your ear when da boat captain tried to use you as bait."
annie.... "So a herd of sharks bit it off?"
biped.... "Yeah right."

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mancat Monday

That's right! It's me, Ole Honey Buns.

Easy Like Sunday Afternoon

biped to smudge.... "Did you see Daisy's blog where her Mom took the "flying" shots?"
smudge.... "Dat was really neat. Her biped laid on da floor and took pic's of Daisy flying over her!"
biped.... "Maybe we could do the same thing."
smudge... "Aren't you afraid dat Daisy will think we're copy cats? You know I have an image to uphold."
biped... "We could change it a bit so no one will notice." "Lets see. I'll lay in da bed and you jump over me."
smudge.... "Cool!"
biped.... "Ready, Set, JU#%"

smudge...."Did you get a under carriage shot?"
biped... "ZZZZZZZZZZZ"
smudge... "I bet Daisy didn't have dat problem."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Spring Cleaning

willie...."Why are you in the tub?"
ollie.... "Because this is the only flat surface left that isn't cluttered wif da biped's stuff."
willie.... "I wouldn't stay in dare for long!"
ollie.... "why?"
willie... "Cuz today's da first day of spring and da biped may just decide you're her next cleaning project."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sweet Talk

angel..... "Me wufs ya biped"
annie..... "Me wovs ya more!"
biped.... sigh. "What do you want?"

annie...angel.... "meatballs!" "spagetti!"

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Ozark Condominium

Have you ever had this problem? The handsome Heesh is trying to take a nap in his cozy condominium and that dreaded upstairs neighbor insists on dropping in again. What do you think it is this time? Has her living room been invaded by another lizard and she needs to be rescued? Is her food dish empty or is there perhaps a bit of structural issue wif her condo?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Hey Buddy!

ollie ..... "Hey Willie, you should see who's down here!"

willie .... "Wow! I haven't seen him in ages."

ollie.... My arms are too short. Hey biped, come rescue our friend!"

biped... "Grunt, creak, moan.... ##&#!"

willie... "Hi little bud, why you been hiding down dare?"

ollie..." Hey Bud! What happened to your toes?"


biped.... "By the time I had got up from the floor, Angel (dumber) had grabbed Buddy and started to decapitate him. I rescued poor Buddy but his life expectancy isn't that great"

Ps..willie "The heater vents are optional equipment in our home. At least that's what us cats think. One of them has completely disappeared (it must of been eaten by dumb or dumber). The biped has nightmares about Giggles or Heesh going down the vent and getting stuck."

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Formerly Feral Annie

The biped is feeling a wee bit better but Grandma is now coughing which isn't good. We'all gots our paws crossed dat it doesn't turn into pneumonia, we may have to send dumb or dumber up to da chicken house and get some fresh chicken to make her soup.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The hypnocat

The OMC's were disappointed by the vet's diagnosis. Instead of distemper he said the biped had a common cold. He told them to take the biped home, give her two aspirins and let her rest. They had other ideas...

Smudge.... "Look into my eyes." "You are feeling sleepy."
biped .... "Sniffle, snort, ..."
Smudge ... "You're not cooperating. You have to fall under my spell so I can cure your cold. Now once again. "Your eyes are getting heavy."
Ollie..... "Hey you did it, she's snoring."
Annie .... "I don't think so, she's just passed out."
Smudge ... "Biped, when I count to three your cold will be gone"
"You will be so happy that you're cured that you'll open 7 cans of stinky goodness."
"And you'll clean the lens on the camera so I don't look like I'm covered in lint."

"One.... Two....
Annie ........ "Ahhhhh


Monday, March 9, 2009

heesh...."Ollie, did you get any sleep last night?"
Ollie.... "No, the biped coughed all night."
heesh... "Did you hear her? She sounds just like that seal at the ocean."
Ollie ... " I know, I think Grandma is right. She needs to go to the vet."
heesh ... " Do they make a PTU big enough for her?"
Ollie ... " I think this will work.... "

Heesh.... "Yup, but how will we get her in it? Maybe a can of stinky goodness will work!"
Ollie ... "Bipeds don't like stinky goodness, but they do like Raspberry Zingers."
Heesh... "You get the Zingers and I'll hook dat thing to the car."
Ollie... "Get da flashy box. I can't wait to take a picture when they poke her in da bottom."

We think that the biped has distemper. She has runny nose, she wheezes,she sneezes, her eyes are glassy looking and she's not rational. Well ok, she's never rational. She painted the walls the color of Pepto Bismo and has started to rip up da carpet. You just watch. Tomorrow she'll get on her and say that it was us that ripped up the carpet.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I found Harley a Russian Spy!

I have the biped looking for a spare PTU and we're going to mail it to you. In case you don't know what it is Harley, its a miniature armor plated Russian tank complete with a spy.

Signed Willie Boy,
Russian tank handler

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Floofy Protector

heesh.... "Ok biped, let me at dat Oppossum. I'll stun it wif my lazer eyes and then suffocate it wif my tail."

Did we Wake You?

The biped is sorry if she woke you up this morning. She sure did wake us up! Actually the frantic barking of dumb and dumber woke us up at 2:30 A.M. We weren't really sure what was going on but the biped brought the dogs back in, and she left wif da flashlight. We watched her as she picked up a snow shovel and headed toward the chicken house. We heard a bunch more screaming, this time from da "girlz", and saw da biped going in and out of da chicken house. Then she came out and left da snow shovel outside and picked up a pitch fork and went back in. Now dumb and dumber are really barking and grandma comes out and sees us all looking out da window so she joins us just as da biped comes outta da chicken coop right behind a HUGE oppossum.

And yes da Biped did have a little boo boo. One of da panic chickens got her when it flew out of its house but we kinda bet dat da oppossum is feelin a lot worse than she does. And the important thing is dat none of da girlz were hurt. Grandma would of been really sad if anything happened to her pets.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Now Why did that happen?

Hi FurFriends,
Sumthing happened to the comment section on today's post. I read the "problem" Help" section of blogspot and the closest thing I could find is that your comment section will disappear if you get over 200 comments. So I quess I should thank the 200 fur friends that posted (even though it only says 2 comments) and hope that whatever the problem is, that it is solved.

the biped