Monday, November 30, 2009

Traveling Tuesday

heesh...."It's travel day for da biped. So beware she's going to be grouchy cuz she has to get up early. Is she going to buy us huge bags of Temptashuns wif her green papers? Of course not. She went and spent dem on another TV. She'd better spend a couple green papers on duct tape cuz Annie da Destroyer is going to be really pissed when she doesn't see a mound of Temptashuns stored in dat big box."

Sunday, November 29, 2009

It's Christmas!

biped...."It was July, a little after the 4th. I was living in Fresno California the closest place to hell that you could possibly be without actually being dead, when my next door neighbor Cherl must of suffered a heat stroke cuz she decided to bake cookies. It was 105 outside and 98 inside her single wide trailer. There was no such thing as central air back then. So with her 3 year old napping she mixed up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Well they would of been chocolate chip if the chips hadn't melted before they got into the batter. Undaunted we proceeded to bake as the temperature in the kitchen creeped up till it actually matched the outside. Just as we took the last pan out of the oven the baby wandered into the kitchen. A big smile formed on her sleepy little face and she started twirling in circles, jumping up and down."

baby Diana....."Oh My! Oh MY! It's Christmas! We have cookies, it must be Christmas."

biped..."On the way over to my cool (95 degree) trailer my friend Cheryl says to me."

Cheryl..."Quess I really should make cookies more often."

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Easy Like Sunday

Heesh....."Look Biped! We saved you a spot!"

biped...."Where on the back of the sofa?"

heesh...."No, that spots for Sheesh and Ollie."

biped...."So where's my spot?"

heesh...."On da floor right in front of the sofa."

annie (whispering)...."where's dumb and dumber going to nap?

And the Winners Are!


Two Quilts (The Prizes)

A cat bed (in lieu of preverbial hat)

1 unbiased ticket selector (Sheesh)

raffle tickets

assorted catnip motivational toys

Let the snuffling begin!

biped...."First winners selected....... Laila and Minchie

biped...."additional catnip added to stimulate selection committee."

heesh...."slobber, slobber, snort, moan."

biped da reporter...."It looks like she's got the Meow...Oops she's dropped them.."

biped...."Wait a minute! Could it be? Yes! She's picked them up again and shoved them out of da bed."

biped...."and the second winners are The Meowers from Missouri!"

Thursday, November 26, 2009

It's Black Friday!

ollie...."Do you know what today is?"

heesh...."No, what is it?"

ollie...."It's Black Friday!"

heesh...."Does that mean the biped's out there wif all da crazy peoples fighting over a $129.00 computer for Uncle?"

ollie..."No Way!"

heesh...."Well then what's Black Friday?"

ollie...."Black Friday is when da biped pulls down da black out blinds and sleeps till 2:00 p.m."

The Turk Family

biped...."Quess who came back this morning! The Turk Family. I quess they liked our corn. Watching the turkeys this morning reminded me of a small resteraunt that we go to. It's in a tiny town about 20 miles from here and should really be featured on that Food Network show, "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. It would fit in the "dive" category."

biped...."Everytime we go in the husband yells, "Just in time! We've almost run out of squirrel." No they don't have squirrel on the menu but the husband's main contribution to the business is washing dishes and teasing the customers."

biped...."The last time we went in the husband came over to tell us about his latest hunting adventure. He says that him and the son got bored one afternoon so they took the droopy halloween pumpkin and sat it on top of a tree stump. They then proceded to shoot at it. After ten shots he said they walked up to count how many times they'd "hit" it. They'd managed only to hit it three times. Puffing up he said, "Then we looked behind it and quess what we found! We found that we'd shot a Huge ole Tom Turkey by accident. Just about then the waitress (84 year ole grandma) came by and said, "Turkey my A$$. You shot my best laying hen."

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You're invited!

annie...."Oh my Cats! Smudge get over here and take a look."

smudge...."Wow, We could invite the whole blogosphere for dinner."

annie...."Grandma! Get your shotgun!"

smudge....."That's a nice big one."

ollie...."Maybe we could send this one to Sweet Praline!"

heesh...."There's sum turkey medalions for Daisy and Harley."

annie...."This is the Tom turkey. I bet Dante or Pride would like to have him for dinner."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Mancat Monday

sheesh...."Mencats never buy the right present. Take a look at what Grandma's thinking."

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Great Wapinator

Ozark Birdies

ollie...."Da biped's been preety good about feeding da birdies lately. We're getting all kinds of LBJ birdies (little brown jobbers) and lots of wood peckers."

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Frivilous Friday

ollie...."Did you stay awake all night trying to figure out the little roses name?"

ollie..."Remember da biped said there was a fairy in the garden? The little rose is a pink Fairy rose. They come in all kinds of colors but the pink one is the most resilient. And yes I think it would be very happy in Florida."

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

There's a fairy in our Garden

ollie....."Fall is fading fast here in da Ozarks. All the pretty leaves are gone and they took most of the flowers with them. That is with the exception of da biped's favorite rose.

ollie...."This is an amazing little rose that thrives under the harshest conditions. Roses normally don't do well in Missouri. First they end up drowning because of the torrential rains, then fungus sets in, and if there's anything left 15,001 varieties of bugs drop by to take a bite or two, that is with the exception of these little guys. Does anyone know the name of this little guy?"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Prize winning bug

heesh....."Da biped won a contest on Sweet Praline's bloggie and gots dis bug dat flys. Yesterday Granma pushed it's button so it's wings would flutter and da biped took pictures of silly Annie and Ollie trying to eat da bug. I of course was very restrained and just observed."

heesh...."you cans see it's wings moving in dis picture."

heesh...."oh no! Is it curtains for da buggie?"

heesh...."Da bug didn't suffer any ill effects from being wapped and nibbled on. He's a tough little bugger."

Monday, November 16, 2009

Toes and more Toes

The even greater Protectress

biped...."So you think the nice woofie is protecting the cute cat!? Perhaps the cute cat also agrees with you. I'm sorry to say you're both wrong."

biped...."Perhaps the sequence of events might help you. First the cute grey kitty laid down beside my chair. A trait he learned from his mentor Abner. Then the woofie walked by and saw him close to me so she sat down next to the kitty, and slowly, quietly pushed him away. Smiling she took over his nice warm spot."

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dear Season in da Ozarks

biped...."Today is "Opening" Day for the "main" deer season in Missouri. Dat means we stay inside because we live in da middle of a forest and there are lots of idiots out there. Now we have nothing against "real" hunters. Grampa was one and so was Great Grampa who both were what you'd call naturalists. Great Grampa took city folk up into the high country of Yosemite and Grampa was a forest ranger in Yosemite. In their days hunting was a means for a modest (poor) man to provide food for his family. Sometime during the mid 50's the sport of hunting was born and to quote grampa "hunting went to he&& in a hand basket". Grampa was always at odds with the park management because to satisfy politians they would inflate the number of the deer population so that permits would be issued for special hunts inside Yosemite Park. Over the years the hunting situation got so bad that it was almost laughable. The city folk would load their shiny new guns into their cars and head to the hill country where they shot anything that moved. Farmers would actually go out and paint their animals hoping to save their lives."

heesh....."Since we like deers we decided to help them out a bit by converting our dove sanctuary into a deer sanctuary. For those that didn't fit we used our artistic talents.""

heesh...."A lot of da hunters are preety clueless so its easy to fool them."

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Darn ! Socks brings a smile.

biped...."We're getting ready to send out our paw it forward box so Sheesh decided to do a quality check on the contents. She's soo happy wif da Darn sock mouse that she's actually smiling. They must be extra special cuz we've never seen her smile before."

smudge...."Hmmm, they're pretty tought. They stood up to the bunny kick test."

biped...."Here's a picture of just the darn! sock."

It's fall in da Garden

ck....."It's fall in da garden. And wif fall comes falling leaves. Lots of leaves that like to make natural mosaics where da lawn once grew. We decided to do a public service announcement because it's come to our attention that some beans are confused and are breaking da law."

ck...."It is against da law to rake up leaves. No it's not an old Ozarkian law, but rather a Japanese law. We fink dat it must be a good law cuz we've never seen an ugly Japanese Garden. So remember if anyone says something about all da leaves lying around in your yard, You just go ahead and tell them."


PS...CK...."There is one exception to the leaf law. It's ok for grandma and grampa beans to rake up a small pile of leaves for da entertainment of their grandchildren."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Have Paws will Travel

sheesh...."Hey biped. We knows dat it costs a lot of green papers to keep us supplied wif Temptashuns each month."

biped....."Yes sheesh they do make a serious dent in da papers."

sheesh...."I have an idea on how to make green papers."

biped...."and how are you going to do that?"

sheesh...."I can give massages. See I've been practicing."

biped...."I'm not sure you're quite up for that. You know you have your insecurity issues."

smudge...."not to mention the hissy issues."

princess...."and da whapp'n issues."

sheesh...."well maybe I should just stick to cat-upuncture

smudge....."oh no. Looks like da biped may have an insurance issue."

Monday, November 9, 2009

Cabin Kitty's first modeling Session

biped....."Kitty! Come back kitty!"

smudge...."well that went great."

ollie...."Looks like our modeling jobs are safe."

grandma...."What are we going to tell da people about their cat?

grunting sounds.

biped...."She's right there under the steps.

ollie...."I sure wish we could use dat camera."

smudge..."I'd give a sqillion Temptashuns to get a picture of da biped crawling under da cabin after CK."

grandma...."If we ever get her back in da cabin she's not coming out again.

grunt groan...
biped...."I can't see her."

grandma..."Neither can I."

smudge & ollie..."We can! snicker"