Monday, November 29, 2010

Oh the Horror of it all....

major....."Dear God....please don't let that Thanksgiving thing come again for a long long time."


annie...."I second that. I've heard that this happens with a lot of humans but I'd never think it'd happen to us."

major....."Uncle didn't even bring us any Temptations."

smudge...."What was worse for you? Da biped crying all weekend or da smoke alarm that refused to quit screaming."

major...."Dumb and Dumber's howling at the smoke alarm gave me a migrane. What in da world did da biped burn in that oven? "

smudge...."I think da turkey was demon possessed. I could see it's eyes glowing when I looked in da little window."

major...."Uncle said it was da plastic wrapp'n dat was burning."

smudge....."And how about dose words she said to dat nice foreign guy. It wasn't his fault dat da internets quit working for 4 days."

major...."All I know is dat I don't want another Thanksgiving beast anytime soon."

heesh...."You know ours wasn't dat bad of a thanksgiving. A few years ago da biped had a friend who got a brand new stove da day before thanksgiving and she put da turkey in it and somefing went wrong and da turkey caught fire and totally destroyed her kitchen while all da guests stood dare screaming instructions."

biped...."Dat's right, but her internets still worked after da firemen came."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

She's a big girl now!

Dryer Envy

or why the biped always looks like she's slept with the cats...

annie...."You're not supposed to play in the dryer!"

annie...."You're going to take the wrinkle the biped's clothes."

annie...."If the biped catches you, she'll not give you any more temptations."

major...."giggle, annie I wasn't born yesterday you know! There's no way I'm going to let you have the warm towels."

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The big Hunt....

biped...."Well little Major, it's time you learned the most important Ozark Mountain Cat tradition."


biped....."No napping major. Tonight just may be the most important night of the year."


biped....."Look out the window. What do you see?"

major......"Nuff'n. It's dark out there."

biped....."If you look up you'll see the full moon. Do you know why it's so special?"

major...."Cuz we're going to turn into Vampires and some movie guy is going to discover us and pay us tons of green papers so we can live entirely on Temptations?...Huh?"

biped.....No silly cat. Tonight is the last full moon before Thanksgiving. And being the last full moon it's time to go on the traditional mince hunt."

major...."Huh?" Ooooh, it looks really scary out there."

biped....."Don't worry those are just storm clouds. We gotta hurry though cuz if the moon disappears we won't be able to spot the mince's eyes."

sound of toe nails on the floor and the door closing.

biped....."Oh did you know that this is an extra special night. It's what's called a blue moon. Blue moons are very rare."

major...."If it's a blue moon, why is Dumb green?"


major....."Hey Dumber do you think they'll find a mince out there?"

dumber....."They always come back wif something."

dumb....."Hey biped! I've spotted one!"

biped...."Just look at those beady little eyes! Here grab the brandy"

sound of door slamming and laughter

major...."Do mince's have armour?"

Dumber...."I don't take any chance. I always eat the pumpkin pie."

Friday, November 19, 2010

Bad Boy....

sound of Music playing....

Bad Boy! Bad Boy! Whatcha going to do?"

biped....."Smudge! What are you doing?"

smudge...."It's Friday. We're getting ready to party with Uncle."

biped....."Sorry you'all are going to have to wait till next week."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Undercover Cats

major...."Shoot it wif your lasers brother Ollie!"

major...."Be careful. It might just be pretending to be deaded."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Morning after..


biped...."It's time to get up!"

ollie...." groan."

smudge...."Where's dat awful racket coming from brother?"

ollie....."Its coming from da giggling biped."

Ollie....."burp...she's totally unsympathetic."

Sunday, November 14, 2010

She's Back...

heesh...."Well it's back. And it had the audacity to move it's quilting stuff into the house instead of the little quilting barn."

biped...."?" "It?"

heesh...."Yes it, the forgotten one."

smudge...."Yup, you've done been replaced."

annie.... "You can take your little rolling case and move back into the quilting cabin."

biped...."So you were that impressed with your cat sitting Uncle?"

annie...."OOOH Yeah.... He gave each one of us our own bag of Temptations."

biped....."I have some bad news for you. I took Uncle back to his place and his own two cats. I don't think they'll let him come over again for a long long time."

annie...."Hey Major! You better push da biped's rollie case closer to her new sewing desk. It's sure a good thing dat we were joking about you moving out into the quilting barn."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Remember this Cat?

biped...."Remember this quilt square that I posted last spring?"

biped...."It went away on a trip to seven other quilter's homes and I just got it back. It's going to take off with me and grandma for a retreat this weekend."

biped...."The catkids are all excited cuz Uncle is going to stay with them. Uncle is alot like Grandma. He believes everything the catkids say. Like I'm hungry and you forgot to give me my treats today."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Hurry! Hurry!

annie....."Hurry! Hurry!

grandma...."Why are we hurrying? We have 7 days left till the 16th."

annie....."We don't have to hurry. All da single pawrents need to hurry."

grandma....."I'm totally confused. What are you talking about now???"

Annie....."sigh..." "All da single Pawrents only have 7 more days to adopt a second cat."

grandma...."Oh now I understand. So they can enter the Tidy Cats Most Welcoming Home Contest."

Annie...."Dat's right. You gotta have two or more cats in order to compete for all da neat prizes."

Duck Hunting in da Ozarks.....


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Mom's little helper!

major....."Hey biped. Is this a new litter box?"

biped...."No it's a new cupboard."

major...."To keep our Temptations in?"

biped...."No you've already got two cupboards for Temptations and Fancy Feast. This is just for me."

major...."Quess I won't bother telling her that it has a loose screw."

smudge...."Dumb and dumber will be happy about that."

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Fall in da Ozarks.....

biped....."We didn't have enough rain this fall so the folliage wasn't as brillant as usual. At least that was the excuse for this year."

biped...."A strange growth on one of my oak trees. It's either a lichen or a fungus or perhaps an alien seed pod."

biped...."The last summer blooms."

biped...."It seems like everything wants to attack my pretty red car. This time it was just a leaf and a bunch of pine needles."

biped...."I included this little guy just for my bloggie friend from Duck and Wheel with String. She lives in a colder climate and all of her froggie friends are in hiding. This is a rare Ozark Porch Rail Frog. The cats think it's somehow related to me because it doesn't get up till after noon when the sun warms up the porch rail. It suns itself to about four when the sun moves on and then disapears into an old flower pot that hangs on the railing.'

Oh Boy....It's celebration time.

crash... bang...%@*& (cuss word)

grandma...."Watch the leg! It almost went thru the storm door."


grandma....."You're standing on someone's foot!

biped...."Tail.. I was standing on some grey cats tail."

biped...."moan....One more hitch and I'll have it inside."

grandma...."It would be much easier to move if it lost 30 or 40 pounds of cats."

major...." WEEEEE. Hey guys! Look we've got a new cat tree."

biped...."It's not a cat tree."

smudge...."Hey look at this animated pull toy."

biped....."It's a new to me sewing cabinet. It's not a ..."

"Dumb Angeldog"...."Look it has a wooden chew toy. The biped must be right. Its our new family tree."

biped...."sigh....Thank god they're just like kids. The new will wear off in a week and I'll actually be able to put the drawers in and think about using it as a sewing cabinet.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Birthday Beau!

smudge...."Did you see what we did?"

heesh....."Yup.... It was da biped's fault."

biped....."What's my fault?"

heesh....."You forgot Beau's gotcha day. It was yesterday."

heesh...."We were supposed to donate a bag of food to da shelter.

biped...."A bag like this?"

heesh...."Wow it's da bonus size."

biped...."To a place like this?"

heesh...."Is dat a shelter? "Look at the neat catio."

biped...."Yup it's our little shelter."

heesh...."I quess one day late isn't too bad for da biped."

smudge...."Especially since her favorite saying is "We'll do it tomorrow."

heesh....."I thought that was our favorite saying! It must be one of those Ozark things."