Saturday, October 30, 2010

Happy Halloween!

smudge...."Heesh, if you don't put your costume on da bipeds won't give you Temptations."

heesh...."I don't want to be a clown. I want to be a pumpkin like you."

smudge...."They didn't have a maine coon sized pumpkin costume."

Heesh...."Oh Lordie, look at me. I'll never live this down."

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Halloween Cats....

smudge..."Hmmmm, is this my good side?"

smudge...."Use this one biped. I think I look cuter in this one."

smudge...."Hey Brat! Get your own halloween picture."

annie...."I don't wanna to wear this. I saw da bag. You gots my costume at da dollar store."

annie...."Oh no, not another one."

annie...."Ok the hats a bit better but it sure isn't as cute as smudge's costume."

annie..."No I don't want to wear the pumpkin costume."

major...."Hey smudge! You're going to be mad when I fill my pumpkin full of temptations and Fancy Feast."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Wind Machine...

biped...."The news reported it thusly:

CHICAGO — A monster wind and rain storm that left some 220,000 homes and businesses without power and triggered at least 12 suspected twisters across the Midwest was moving into the Northeast overnight.

Stretching as far south as Mississippi, the system was expected to weaken a bit, the Weather Channel reported, but still threaten severe thunderstorms in these population centers:

biped....."We would of reported it thusly."

smudge...."Firstly it was really, really neat. The wind started blowing. The leaves flew by the window to the left. Then they flew back to the right. Then the left. Then BLAMO! The leaves flew right straight at me!"

smudge...."The front door started banging and I ran for da hallway wif da biped and da dumb dogs."

annie...."He surely did."

major...."Yup we all huddled there while the lightning flashed and the rain poured off da roof. Finally it quieted down a little bit and we all crawled under the desk, well except for da biped cuz she couldn't fit."

smudge...."When I clawed by way out dis morning my head wouldn't turn and I hurted all over my body. Da vet said I had whiplash and I needed to wear dis neck brace."

smudge....."Thank goodness I have my buddy here to compfort me cuz I gots no sympathy from da biped."

annie...."How long do you have to wear dat thing?"

major...."Gigggle...Till dinner time cuz he's going to rip it off when he finds dat he can't reach the Fancy Feast in da bowl."

smudge....."I see now why da vet said I'd need a good lawyer."

Monday, October 25, 2010

Major Brat...

major....."And how was your monday bloggie friends? Did you get up really early and go to dat awful work place?"

Major...."Can't you tell that I'm real concerned"

major...."Giggling? You want to know if I'm giggling cuz you had to work?"

major...."I would never be that insensitive."

major...."It musta been a yawn."

smudge...."And that isn't insensitive?"

Sunday, October 24, 2010

In Reply to OKcats comments...

major...."on yesterday's post."

major...."It depends if she's hiding a bag of temptations behind her back."

Friday, October 22, 2010


smudge...."Go ahead! Make your day and give the Major a snorkle on her bald belly."

smudge...."Now that you've got your kitty fix be sure to remember to stop at the pet store on the way home today and buy lots of Temptations and Fancy Feast for your faithful friends."

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Perfect Match?

smudge...."Hey Look what I found out on da big road?"

ollie...."An old truck??"

smudge...."I think I found da purrfect match for da biped."

ollie....."Wow, you might have a point."

smudge...."First requirement... the match must like Coke."

ollie....."Look he even has a cooler in da back. I betcha it's full of Coke."

smudge...."And look at all the junk in da back. He's definetely not a type A person. He loves his clutter."

ollie...."Yup, just like da biped."

smudge...."And bestest of all he's a fan of petfinders. I think he just might make a great step dad."

ollie...."Hmmm, one problem though."


ollie...."What if the truck belongs to a lady?"

smudge..."Well then I guess we'll have a new step mom."

Monday, October 18, 2010

Simple Pleasures....

grandma...."Oh Look! There she is in the window again."

biped..."Does she have the curtain tied around her belly again?"

grandma..."giggle, giggle....Look at her. When one comes close she actually ducks."

biped...."When what comes close to her?"

grandma...."The leaves...She's watching the leaves fall."

major dashes from the window, across the counter to another window...

grandma...."Oh Look! I think she's waiting for that big one to fall."

biped...."I'm glad you two are enjoying cat tv."

Terrible Two's

biped...."Oh Yes! It's the terrible two."

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday in da Ozarks

major...."Smudge? Ollie? Is dat you? Why do you have a bucket on your head?"

smudge...."It's not a bucket. Its a hat."

major...."Dat's silly brother. Cats don't wear hats."

smudge...."Too bad da biped and all those other bloggie ladies don't know dat!"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Feral Cat Day

biped...."Here's a really old picture of smudge when he was known as Yard Cat. Him and sweet Willy were dropped off when they were teenage kittens. Willy immediately moved in but smudge was very shy and preferred living outdoors. It took over six months to un-feralize him (you wouldn't believe it now) and get him to move indoors."

biped...."He really enjoyed his cat sauna. It was freezing cold the day I set it up on the porch. I showed it to grandma, turned on the heat lamp (often used to keep baby chicks warm) and before grandma could finish saying, "He'll never use that #@&& thing" he had hopped into the 'sauna' and curled up."

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Is that Giggling I hear?

biped...."Oh yah,,, dats a giggling major."

biped...."Maybe I should change the Major's name to Harley junior..."

biped...."Actually at the very last moment the Major lost her courage. She just couldn't find the nerve to give that final pounce."

Nappy Bathtime

biped...."Anniecat is a lot like the biped. That which can be put off till tomorrow often is. Here is a picture of Annie trying to decide if she should take a bath."

biped...."Well it looks like it's a bath day..."

biped...."Ooops, a little premature there. Quess it's actually naptime."

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sometimes you just need a good laugh...

biped...."As in all multi-specie homes ours is no different. There is a very defined pecking order. It goes...biped....grandma...cats....cats....dumb....and dumber....That is until last night when the pecking order flew out the window."

biped...."So the power shift began with grandma in here room playing on her computer. The biped was in hers doing the same. Dumb and dumber came in with their ball. It's been ages since either one felt up to playing catch but they had their minds set on a game. So the ball was tossed and the game was on."

biped...."Now dumb and dumber don't play catch like normal dogs. It's actually closer to a game of touch football with Dumb playing defense and Dumber trying to dislodge the ball. The game spilled out my bedroom door and headed towards the kitchen. All of a sudden the sounds of barking and growling was drowned out by a series of bangs and crashes. Things JUST kept crashing so both grandma and I ran out of our bedrooms just in time to see this."

biped...."There was the Major, on the kitchen counter shoving spatulas, dishes and what-not off trying to bomb the quarling dogs. It was obvious that the "bombing" had started on the now empty kitchen table before the Major headed to higher, safer ground."

biped...."As grandma and I arrived in the kitchen, the Major headed for even higher ground. Grandma and I were laughing hysterically cuz dumb and dumber were twirling around in the kitchen trying to figure out where/why stuff was flying off the counter.

biped...."Major's escape from the jaws of death hadn't ended yet. When she jumped into the kitchen window, the tie for the curtain wrapped around her waist turning her into an animated dish rag.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


biped....."waaaaaa! sob.... booo hooo.....sniffff..."

ollie....."Oh nooooo's.....that's terrible...did,,,,did,,you...."


grandma...."OH MY! WAS IT YOUR FAULT??? HOW bad was the other guy's???" How did it happen?"

biped...."No it wasn't my fault. It's still unclear whose fault it was."

ollie...."Biped...did you get.."

biped...."The lady driving the huge old blue SUV said her dog was driving. The dog was pretty close lipped. It didn't say squat. By the time the cop got there the lady said that her back was bad and she was blinded by the sun, that the dog was jumping up and down and she was getting a drink when all of a sudden she backed into our car. She didn't mention that she was also talking on a cell phone..."

biped...."Look at our pretty bumper..."

ollie...."Biped! Get a Grip on yourself! It's a bumper... The important thing is that you got us Temptations and Fancy Feast."

ollie...."You did get our food didn't you?"

The little Prisoner..

biped...."Looks like we have another prisoner cat."

major...."Where's the treats?"

biped...."At the store. And don't bother telling me that Daisy had treats."

major...."Hack, hack,"

biped...."What are you doing?"

major....."Pretending I have a hack saw. They make a hacking sound."

biped...."That's a pitiful joke. You've been hanging out around your Uncle too much. Move over! I'm tired."

major....."Arrrgh! Prisoner abuse! You almost sat on me."

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Major Stalker...

smudge...."Hey Major. Hide under the blanket and wap Annie when she walks by."

major...."That's a neat idea! Here goes."

Major...."Is she coming? I can't see a thing."

smudge...."Not yet."

smudge....."Your eyes are a little droppy. You're not fall'n asleep are ya?"



biped...."There I was, in the 'quiet' room reading my favorite magazine when I felt a warm breath on my nearly naked shoulder. Shortly thereafter I felt a tickling sensation on my neck....."

biped...."sigh, bathroom cat has found another hidey spot."

major...."I was just making sure you pulled out dat coupon for Fancy Feast."

ps...."it's a much better hidey spot when the light is off and da biped is 3/4's asleep.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Momma's little helper...

major...."It smells a little bland. I think it needs more spice."

major...."You need to stir it a little bit. It looks a little lumpy."

biped...."Who do you think you are? The next iron chef?"

major...."Well compared to some of those contestants, I think I stand a good chance."

biped....."Not if the judges catch you sticking your paw in the batter."

major...."Well at least they won't yell at me for not tasting it. Plus the oven will kill any cat germs."