Friday, April 30, 2010

Fussy Friday

smudge...."Can you tell my mood?"

smudge...."Did you guess that I was pissed?"

smudge...."Anyone wanna guess what red headed step sister got a spanking?"

ollie..."And a timeout in her bedroom?" "snicker snicker"

smudge..."I hope the biped made her stand in the corner."

biped...."Yes, the red headed step child still has issues. And the spankings have been so frequent that after furzilla attacks she runs to her bedroom door and waits for the me or grandma to let her in."

grandma...."I don't want bust da biped's bubble, but tapping a purring cat (with it's sibblings fur hanging from its mouth) on the butt with your index finger does not constitute spanking. And repeating bad kitty, bad while you open the door to a room filled with enough toys and treats to entertain 50 cats is not punishment."

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Happy Thursday

biped...."An interesting Columbine flower."

biped... "And the bee decides that he likes the apricot colored Azaleas better than the pink ones this week."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Answered Prayers

heesh...."Hey guys! Look we gots a letter from MARS."

ollie...."Snif , looks my prayers shot right by God into outter space. ."

heesh...."You gotta see this! All these red coupons are for Temptations."

ollie..."You know this proves?."

heesh...."Yeah, it proves there's life on Mars, even if it's only chickens and tuna."

Toes Tuesday

smudge...."Dose are Ollie's toes. He's praying. Tomorrow you get to see if his prayer was answered."

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Wisdom of the Cat

heesh..."With time, women gain weight because they accumulate so much information & wisdom in their heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest their bodies.

So remember, they aren't heavy , but rather enormously cultured, educated & happy. Beginning today, remember to tell your huMom that when she looks at her butt in the mirror to think, Good Grief~look smart I am~"

Ladies If you agree with me...Repost this." signed the slightly plageristic Heesh

smudge to annie..."If there's an once of truth in what Heesh said, well then the biped must be a genius."

Easy Like Sunday

biped..."These plants are native to the Ozarks. They're called Columbine and come in various colors from white to mauve. We started out with one plant four years ago and have well over thirty now. Every September I harvest the seeds and go to another location in the yard and sprinkle the seeds around. It takes 25-50 seeds to get one plant to germinate. There also seems to be some sort of Law of the Columbine that states that the seeds never germinate inside a flower bed. They always seem to prefer the gravel in the driveway where it's almost impossible to dig them up for transplanting."

Friday, April 23, 2010

A Spring Day in the Ozarks

ps...The pink flowers are azaleas.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Easter Lamb

ps Dear confused:
the sacrificial (beheaded) lamb used to be a cake in the shape of an Easter lamb which the biped (the cheapskate) purchased on sale at Aldi's two weeks after easter. It was very preety, wrapped in cellophane, in a cute little box with a window so you could see the lamb. Notice the past tense. The lamb was cute. Until it sat too close to the edge of the kitchen counter and it's fate was sealed." signed, Sheesh

ps ps....As reported by Dumb and Dumber....."Remember what your mother told you.
a. "You're innocent until proven guilty." and
b. "Don't believe everything you read on the internets."

Happy Earth Day!

biped....."Happy Earthday to all our fur friends and their humans and humoms."

biped...."below is a picture of our pink dogwood. This is the first year that its bloomed. We're really excited that it turned out to be pink because when we paid $7.50 for it three years ago it was supposed to be a white dogwood."

biped...."Here's a butterfly on our Korean lilac. They are very fragrant this year maybe because we've had no rain to wash away their scent.

ollie...."This is one of dumb and dumber's friends. We stay away from him cuz we're afraid he'll bite us. They look like bumble bees but are actually Carpenter bees."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Brotherly Love

ollie...."I sure hope she doesn't smother in all that floof."

Monday, April 12, 2010

Soo tempting

annie...."There he goes again tempting her."

ollie...."Yup, she falls for it every time."

biped...."Oh Smudgie, (babytalk), Oh smudgie wudgie. Are you my little smudgelicious. tickle tickle."

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Monday Mancat

smudge....What's Ollie doing?

annie...."He's either trying to look pitiful or he's hypnotizing da biped. Either way I'm hoping for a good outcome."


annie....."Da biped is going to da big city tomorrow so if the pathetic hypnotic Ollie worked his magic we'll have a big bag of you know what tonight."

sound of door closing.....

grandma...."Don't forget the kitty liter!"

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thursday in the Garden

heesh...."It's gardening day, I wonder what the biped is up to.?"

smudge...."What's a jiffy pot?"

annie...."I know! I know! It's the snack that the biped puts in the micro wave."

heesh...."That's Jiffy Pop, these things are Jiffy Pots."

smudge...."I know what they are! I saw them made on the Dirty Jobs tv show."

smudge...."They're made from cow poo and you grow plants in them."

annie...."Oh NOES! She's growing Coke in them. We're all going to end up in jail."

Princess...(aka dumb)"Do you think we should tell them that the coke bottles are being used as little mini hot houses?"

Angel....(dumber) "You mean she's not growing coke?"

Princess (rolls her eyes)....."You might want to check out the seed packages next to the Jiffy Pots."

Monday, April 5, 2010

Tuxie Tuesday

biped...."Definetely Tuxilicious, even if I do say so."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Easter in da Ozarks

biped...."Ok Joya, look pretty for the camera!"

joya...."keep dream'n biped!."

biped...."If you don't smile, the easter bunny is going to skip our house."

joya...."pfffft. No lieing to the kitteh, biped!"

joya...."A. We don't live in a house. We live in a trailer if you can call it living.
B. Easter bunnies don't come to trailers least wise not here in da Ozarks. Easter bunnies are not dumb. They know dat there's a shot gun in the closet."

annie...."Hey it looks like da biped finally got Furzilla to pose."

annie...."It may have something to do wif da choke hold on her neck."

Friday, April 2, 2010

Update to Floofy Friday

biped...."About three weeks ago my friend Audrey was over helping me sew 50 pillowcases for a local nursing home. She was in sitting at the kitchen table facing the window that faces our backyard and she started screaming, jumping up and down."

audrey,,,,"Turkey, Turkey Turkey!!!"

biped....."But Audrey, I've been telling you for months that we had turkeys in the back yard."

audrey...."But you didn't say that they dropped in for afternoon coffee!"

ps...They really don't come for coffee., just for corn and bird seed that I scatter outside the kitchen window.

Floofy Friday

annie...."Has anyone seen Ollie or Smudge?

sheesh....."No, why do you ask?"

annie...."Cuz da turkeys are back and it looks like dey stold ollie's tail."

sheesh... "Oh my, maybe they swallowed 'em and the only thing left is the floof."

annie...."Poor Ollie was probably trying to catch one of dose critters for our Easter dinner."

sheesh....."Look at that thing! He's actually proud dat he ate Ollie."

annie...."It's time for Grandma to get her shot gun outta da closet."