Thursday, April 30, 2009

Cinco De Mayo Celebrators!

Heesh here.... "Da biped has promised to share her prize winning Quacamole recipe wif her bloggie friends on Sunday! But in order to make good quacamole you MUST have good, ripe avacados. To ensure (insure) dat your avacados are ripe, da biped says we need to buy them tomorrow. She says to buy da rock hard ones, not the squishy black ones. She says dat da squishy ones have been pinched by mean shoppers (we think its da same shoppers that insist on pinching loaves of bread and tomatoes). If you have a choice, buy da avacado wif da bumpy skin, not the smooth kind. She also says to put your pretty avocados in a plain brown paper sack and close it kinda like a sack lunch. Dat traps in da gas from the avocados and hastens da ripening. Be sure to leave it in a safe place so there are no avocado hockey games. Do not refrigorate.

avacados needed for 2 people ....3 medium/large
for 3 people ....4 medium/large
for 10 or more people ....3 medium/large (if 10 people were to show up at our house we'd be under the sofa wif our quacamole)"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Nature Shots

closeup of new red oak leaves and lichen

red oak, dogwood & hickory trees

dogwood blooms

wild columbine


willie...."we all have decided to boycat da chicken place. When da biped got there dey said dat our KFC wasn't participating cuz no one liked baked chicken in Missoura. Boy da biped was upset, seeing as we kept prodding her all night to be sure she didn't over sleep."

Here's da website where you can complain if you didn't get free grilled chicken at your KFC.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wake YOur Bipeds! It's Free chicken day!

ollie...."Look into my eyes! "Get the PTU's"
biped...."You want to get in the PTU?"
ollie...."Yes, It's Monday!" "And there's a free peice of baked chicken at KFC!"
biped...."I think its"
ollie...."Be sure to get us a thigh or a breast!"
biped...."Ollie, da chick"
ollie...."Don't let them give you a skimpy wing!" "Hurry Biped! it's all going to be gone!
ollie...."Yes biped."
biped..."Go to sleep. KFC isn't open at 3 am."

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Da Biped's New Sphinx!


ollie.... "You thought Grandma would let da biped have another cat?"

Friday, April 24, 2009

Da Smooched Smudge

heesh here...."You'll notice that my buddy Smudge is in the process of passing out. It seems dat he needs a little more practice on being "cool" when in the company of a girl cat."

smudge.... "Too bad it isn't Wednesday. I could just lay here and be wordless. Purrrz."

ps... biped here... "Speaking of "cool". When da biped was about 17 Grandma ran screaming from the house (to the biped)! "You have a phone call she screamed." Just as da biped started toward the house, GRandma screamed even louder, "Hurry! Its a BOY!"

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Smoochable Smudge

smudge.... "Does this photo show my floof biped?"
biped.... "Yes smudge, you're floofy."
smudge...."Did you make sure to capture the hearts on da blankie?"
biped... "Yes, there's a heart, though I don't have a clue why you wanted a blanket when it's almost 90 outside."
smudge... "I wanted to show Lucy Belle my softer side."
smudge... "Biped!"
biped.... "What now?"
smudge...."Put da picture of grandma and me on. You know, the one where we're reading da book. Lucy will see dat I'm Smart and Smoochable!"

biped... "You're right, not dat many cats know how to read."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Before and After Special Kitty

"da Biped here! Did you read da article on today's Cat Blogosphere telling about Nutro cat food being investigated?" "If you read to the very bottom of Skeezix's article it says that da Mar's company which now makes Nutro also makes Special Kitty. I'm more than a wee bit embarrassed to show these before and after photos of Smudge and hope you understand."

"Smudge ate da special kitty food until he got tame enough to catch. That was for about 8 months. The first two pictures were taken just after he moved inside. The third was taken after about 8 weeks on 9Lives kibble.

"Here's today's Mr. Smudge. He could get a job in a Furminator commercial wif all dat floof."

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Happy Earth Day from Da Ozark Mountain Cats

"Reporter Ollie here!First of all, all us kitties and (dumb) woofies would like to wish you a very very happy Earth Day from da Ozarks. We sent da biped out to take a few pikturs of our local flora and fauna. Yaul have a good day now! Weeeze heading to bed."

"Sum people's tink dat da Ozarks are full of hill billies and red necks, but I'd like to inform you dat dose people are all wet! Even da wild critters have an appreciation for fine art."

"Dis is da biped's redbud tree. She's waited four years for it to bloom. Last year it looked like it had pink mange wif spots of pink here and dare. Dis year it looks a lot better. Redbud's are native trees and are da first tree to bloom. The next tree to bloom is da dogwood. We'll have pictures of our dogwoods next week. Right now ours isn't in full bloom."

"According to Princess (Dumb), this is Missouri's state critter. There are a lot of them and they are very friendly. Dey like da biped and Dumb and Dumber a lot."

"Deese cuties hide under our pine trees. Dey are another one of our many spring flowers."

"Deese two pictures are of a native butterfly that likes da biped's Korean lilac. Da lilac is named little Kim and usually gets about three feet tall and has teensy little blooms. Our little Kim didn't read the plastic tag in its can and its now over five feet tall and is covered wif huge bouquets of flowers. If you stick your nose really close to da monitor you can smell the wonderful fragrance."

"We get these cute wild violets twice a year. They are a little bit bashful and only show up after the spring and early fall rains. Like da biped they disapeer when the weather gets warm. Unlike da biped, they are silent and do not complain."

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tired Toesies

as narrated by heesh...."We're still resting up from da biped's retreat." "She went to something called a dude ranch, but thankfully didn't come back wif a dude." "She did however have a really good time making quilts." "She also met da owner of da ranch and dey talked about horses and mules." "Dere was a great big white mule there that was really friendly." "Da biped has a thing about mules cuz her favorite Aunt used to own one that was a movie star." "Her name was Sally (da mule not da aunt) and she was in a Clint Eastwood movie."

It's 3 A.M.

Willie.... It's 3 am. Do you know where your biped is? "Mine is right here getting ready to tuck me in."

willie..."Gud night bloggy friends." "Da biped will tell you about her retreat tomorrow."
annie... "or da next day"

Thursday, April 16, 2009

She's Outta Here

Annie......"Da biped is going on a retreat for da weekend."
smudge....."What's a retreat?"
Annie..... "Its when a bunch of ladies leave all the hustle and bustle of their rat race lives behind so they can commune wif nature."
giggles...."What's a hustle and bustle?"
Annie.... "Dats when the biped has to run around and work really hard."
giggles...."What biped are we talking about?" "Da first one dat got away?"
smudge.... "Why can't she commune wif nature at home?" "I bet this communing thing is going to cost green papers that she could spend on us."
biped.... "Smudge, you better watch out! You're starting to sound a lot like the X Mr. Biped and you know what happened to him!"
Annie to smudge...."?????"
smudge..... "She said sumthing about making him croak."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

More home Inspections

Inspector Annie checks out da peice of carpet that's been pulled up. If you notice the new flooring is creeping closer to the center of our home. We hope to be half done tomorrow. Da biped didn't find the "purrfect" rug today but she did get the material for the new curtains.

Here is one of da staples that had to be removed. Da blue foam carpet pad is held down wif these staples along wif da linoleum. There will be no catnaps tomorrow as da biped chisels them out of da floor. There is actually three types of staples holding da carpet down along wif a strip of wood full of nails. All of it must be removed before the new floor goes down.

In this picture Annie is inspecting the "seam" that runs down the middle of our home. (its the white strip)
......... Info for people who've never seen or heard of a "mobile home"

Our home came in two parts. A big truck pulled half of it down the road from a little town named "Salem." This Salem is not the Salem where there were witch hunts, but rather the Missouri Salem. In front and behind our home were trucks with flashing lights so people would not run over our (mobile) home. On some spots the whole road was covered by our home and the cars had to pull off into the weeds. Thank goodness this is Missouri and not California cuz the people here are used to seeing big things in da road and a really nice.

When da trucks get both parts of our home to the property they line the halves up and bolt them together. There is cement under our house and they sit big bricks on the cement and then strap the whole thing down to the cement. Then the men came in laid the carpet put plaster on the roof seam and gave me the keys. The benefit of a mobile home is that it's fast to move in. For example, I sold my old home in California on July 17th, flew to Missouri on the 18th, bought the land on the 19th, the mobile home on the 20th, got all the utilities arranged on the 21st and had cement trucks there before I went back to California to pack. They had to make a "hole" in the forest before they delivered our home but by the 3rd it was all set up and ready to move in.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Too Many Sidewalk Superintendants....

smudge...."It looks like a bomb went off in here."
biped... "You could try helping. I spent half da day digging cats out of heater vents."
Ollie....."Oh dat's where Annies at?"
giggles..."It looks like we may eventually have a floor in da liven room."
smudge...."I thought it was goin ta be done by Easter."
ollie.... "Dat changed last week. Now she says mother's day."
smudge...."Did you hear her tell Grandma dat she wanted a rose carpet just like Ms. Peach has."
giggles... "Carpet? Didn't she just rip out da carpet?"
smudge.... "She wants a victorian looking carpet in front of da sofa."

biped...."Hey Mom! After we hit da Monday special at KFC's tomorrow do you want to check out dat new flea market?
ollie...."OMC! I hope da cheapskate finds a carpet and doesn't try to make one!
biped... "I heard dat Ollie!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Easter FurFriends

Thanks to Ms. Peach who put a link to the photo program to make our mural.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Here a Floof

Here a Floof!
There a Floof!
Every Where a Floof floof!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

No floof, just facts

As dictated by Annie..."Since da biped didn't get to watch CSI tonight, nor the new police show, We're not getting our pictures posted. We didn't bug her too much because she's wasn't in that great of a mood before the weatherman hijacked the tv station. All night long, instead of watching the cute CSI guys we got to watch a map of Arkansas and Missouri. The weatherman came on every five minutes to tell where the big red cloud was in Arkansas, which was really important to us in Missouri. About 9 pm the cloud moved over to Missouri and they started flashing a message to be prepared to go to your storm shelter or to an interior room. Under no circumstance are you to remain in a mobile home when da big red cloud gets near your home. About 10pm da big red cloud passed over our house and the hail started. I crawled under da big imitation oak desk, oh did I mention that we live in a mobile home? The storm didn't last for long, and now its east of us and the moon is peeking thru the clouds so we can take up our spots in da bed."

Ollie... "Oh and quess what! Right in da middle of da hail storm quess who HAD to go outside. Yup dumb and dumber. Dumb (Princess) really isn't dat dumb, she just stood on the porch barking, but Dumber drug da biped all over da yard while both of dem got soaked."

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Where's da biped?

annie...."Have you seen da biped?"
Willie..."I'll look in here."

annie...."Is she dare?"

Willie...."Nope, she's not here."

Ollie.... "You have to look under Smudge to find her."
Willie... "You mean, like in da bed, under da Smudge? Did he snufficate her?"
Ollie.... "Nope. She's just not been able to move since she "laid" da floor on Saturday."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Guarded Biped

I Double Dog Dare you to touch my Biped!

Monday, April 6, 2009

It's 1 A.M. Do you know where your Childcats are?

"Good Morning Bloggers." "Do you remember that old community service advertisement?" "Where I grew up, there was a tv add at 10:00 P.M., do you know where your children are." "I don't know why but I thought of it tonight.

"Since we don't even think about going to bed till 1 (snicker 4) A.M., we don't start a head count till after midnight." "Actually the kids do the headcount I think." "About 12:00 Heesh settles in on my feet." "Then Willie climbs up da back of the computer chair and washes my hair." "Annie has been cutely sleeping up by my pillows for at least an hour. This is to assure me of at least one asthma attack during the night." "While Willie is giving me my bath, either Ollie or Smudge (sometimes both) jump up on the back of the chair to critic the job he's done." "At 1 am, I feel a light brush against my left leg, and simultaneously a very sharp pain in my right elbow." "Giggles and Sheesh. Its time for our dental cat food they yell!" "If I ignore them, Giggles claws dig a little deeper until I finally get up and feed them (again)."

da biped

Loving MenCats

giggles...."I wub you brudder."
heesh....."I wub you too!"

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Free Fighting Lessons

smudge....."By now yaul know dat da biped is a wee bit strange." "But dis just may be da strangest fact yet." "Da biped was taught how to box (like in Fight Club Kiddies) when she was about seven years old." "Her stepfather had a friend named "George" who was a professional boxer." "Ole George thought it would be fun to teach da biped how to box, so while Grandma was inside cooking dinner, George taught her about guarding her nose, the bob and weave, footwork, and best of all PUNChing." "Da biped had a short career but never lost a fight, including when da Mcgee boy threw a rotten tomato at her when she was on her way to Sunday School." "She was about 11 and McGee was about 14 but dat didn't stop her." "It was a bit unfortuneate dat da preacher drove by just as she landed a punch on McGee's chin." "He did forgive her being a preacher and all, but he did tell half da town about it, including Grandma." "One things for sure thought! Dat boy never bothered another girl after dat."

"So wif dat said, here's your first boxing lesson."

Always protect your face wif your paws. You don't want to end up wif a black eye or
worse yet a case of da fuzzies. You'll notice I'm a bit blurry because I forgot to duck."

And if things start going bad don't forget the bitey move!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

No More Excuses

....."Annie here!" "Everyone please hold your breath." "The biped has moved from in front of her sewing machine and has started the floor." "There's a wee bit of cussing (Ok a lot), quite a few Oh MY's, and a tear or two." "We heard her mention to Grandma things like, "We can sit furniture over that." "She also mentioned throw rugs, and we didn't like the part about gluing a cat down if there's a boo boo someplace where a rug or peice of furntiture wouldn't fit." "In our opinion she should glue da dogs down first."