Saturday, February 28, 2009

Nothing Like Sunday Morning

Smudge.... "What's wif all dat white stuff outside?"
Willie ... "Its called snow."
Smudge ... "Is snow bad?"
Willie ... "Not when we can kick da biped outta bed and keep it all for ourselves."

{{{Without leaving their warm spots in da bed, Smudge and Willie peak out da window.)))

Willie... "Why do beans get those things?"
Smudge.... "I have no clue. They really are dumb."
Willie ... "Beans?."
Smudge ... "No, well maybe."
Willie ... "Hey look, she's sunk clean up to her belly."
Smudge ... "Do you think the biped's going to have to rescue it?"
Willie ... " Maybe, We'd better lock up da biped." "If she goes out there and sinks we'll never get our stinky goodness tonight."

Willie ..... "Maybe if we're lucky she'll get lost out there."
Smudge ... "Not wif our luck. It always finds its way back, It gets too much pleasure from tracking muddy footprints all over da house."

Smudge .... "Keep going doggie. "Go catch a turkey down in da hollow."

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Two Treat Pic

Just imagine what kind of pic you could get for a can of Stinky Goodness!


Happy Floof Day to my furfriends....

The Treatless Pic

***Smudge informs the biped that elections will shortly be held for officers of the AFLCBU, that is if treats aren't provided for photo shoots ***

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

You get treats for posing?

The biped let Willie read Daisy's blog yesterday. And he found out that she gets treats for posing. He's wondering if there's a Blogging Cat Union that he can join. That would be AFLCBU?

Toesie Tuesday

biped.... "Ollie, are you dreaming about naughty things?" "Is that a smile on your face?"
Ollie... "No I'm trying to blow a kiss to Sweet Praline. I sure hope she feels better today."

Monday, February 23, 2009

Yup He's a Man

Mancat that is. Biped says that its time to get a new computer chair. She says that this one is ratty. I looked all over but I didn't see any rats. Actually its just gotten compfortable. Plus if she played her cards right, she could use this picture twice. Once for today, you know Mancat Monday and then again on Friday for Floofy Friday.

signed, Ollie Cat

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Saturday in da Ozarks

The biped thought that the other kitties and beans might want to know what a typical Saturday in the Ozarks might be like. First of all in Feb. you're going to be freezing at least part of the day. Today it was most of the day at 24 to 38 degrees. But don't let that worry you because its never crowded at any of the Ozark happenings so it will be a quick dash from your car to whatever building. So lets see what you could of done today if you were lucky enough to be an Ozarkian.
First there was the Annual Chamber Maid dinner, a few miles from that was a Vinison dinner just in case you were'nt able to git a deer this season. I know its misspelled and should be Venison, but nobody other than Grandma seems to care about the spelling. You could take a free selling on ebay class, then hit a pancake breakfast. This one is really good for x-Californians, there's the First Paranormal Conference. As Grandma would say, "I'd like to be a fly on the wall at that one." and best of all, the city of Cabool had a half page ad in their newspaper just so you wouldn't miss that this Saturday is the jig saw puzzle exchange at city hall. The biped skipped all those things to take a free class on how to do cut lace on her embroidery machine.

Above article on da Ozarks was submitted by Sheesh, Queen Bee of da Ozark MOuntain cats.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Update on Clever Liter Box

biped... "Angel, do you have sumthing to tell the nice kitties?"
angel.... "I quess."
biped... "And what would dat be?"
angel.... "You mean da part about the clever cat liter box doesn't tip over when there's liter in it?"
biped... "Yeah that's might be it."
angel... "I quess I should also mention dat I'm not tall enough to reach any of the little kitty treasures in it."
biped... Oh really? Does that mean the living room carpet won't have more sand on it than the sahara desert?"
angel... "Uh, dats not sand in da living room."

biped..... "Angel...."
angel... "Yes biped"
biped... "Go stand in da corner"
angel.... "Dang clever cat.. snif, snif"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Better Mouse Trap OOps, Liter box

annie... "Biped, what is this thing? A new hidey hole?"
biped ... "No, its the best dog proof liter box ever made. It's the Clever Cat liter box! Its the first step in our home remodling."

annie.... "Biped!"
biped... "What now Annie?"
annie... "Angel is looking at me..."
biped.... "Quit being a drama queen. The label says its dog proof."
annie... "It doesn't seem very dog proof to me."

biped... "Angel?"
angel ... "Yes loving biped?"
biped... "What are you doing?"
angel... "Why biped, I'm helping you!"
biped... "Helping me?"
angel.... "Yes, I'm helping you clean the new liter box. Arn't ya supposed to flip it?"
biped... "Angel...
angel.... "Yessss... Is dat a rolled up news?"
biped.... WHAP!. dog "Did you really think she'd buy da flippin thing?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Toesie Tuesday

Not much new going on here. We're trying our very best to drive the biped nuts. Annie is in position to bite the her when she comes to bed. If you're real quiet you may hear her scream.

The Gentle Mancat

Gentleman Heesh is a typical example of the "male" Ozarkian. Unlike the heathen Willie (who would make a good New Yorker), he stands aside when you walk from room to room. He is loyal and content to sit beside you on the couch with his head resting on your leg. If he just had those opposable thumbs he'd whip those doors open for you just like the huMan Ozarkian does.

Ps....For two hardened x-California bipeds, there is nothing cuter than an eight year old Ozarkian trying to beat you to a door so he can open it for you. I'm sure Heesh would do it too, except for that darned thumb thing.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


No self resprecting Ozark Mountain Cat would be found anywhere else but in front of the big screen TV on a Sunday afternoon. That's right folks! IT'S

Mr. Heesh has checked the fridge. He has an ample supply of brew, the cell phone shut off and he's all ready to catch "Digger" da Fox mascot. He does have a huge pork roast in da oven in case Digger escapes dis week.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Monday, February 9, 2009

Update on Search for Mom

I heard back from Sarah at the place where I was adopted from. Sarah says that they replaced the computers since I was adopted and that she couldn't find the name of foster Mom. It's time to bring out da big guns! The biped is giving me some green stuff to buy nip wif and hopefully I'm going to hire......

Some of my kitty friends are worried dat I want to leave the biped and go back to my first huMom. Dat is not the case. I just want my FirsMom to know I got a good warm home.

Searching for Mom...

Dear Furfriends:
Please keep your paws crossed. I had the biped search last night for my birth certificate. Once she found it, she emailed the adoption agency to see if they can find my first humom.


I'm going to da Ball!

It takes sumptin purty special to get an Ozarkian to head down to the crick to clean up in February, but this here Ball wif all dose pretty lady cats is just da thing to do it. I even had da biped wash my favorite hunting jacket just in case some of dose city cats didn't like the oppossum smell.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

OOOH Mancat!

Olaf decides to show his softer side to his lady friends.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sheltered Saturday

Today was a rough day for us mountain kitties. First the biped got up early (grouchy) and went to the vet. We thought we were safe because no one had to get in da dreaded "cage" but shortly she returned wif (shudder) something called Revolution. Boy that stuff was named correctly because there darned near was one when she started catching us and squirting us. Giggles and Willie have been having trouble wif ear mites (thanks to Willie) and the biped hasn't had any luck wif the liquid stuff. Supposedly Revolution will get rid of ear mites in two months so we'll let you know.

When Willie tried to bite her, the mad biped left again took OUR Uncle Bill to the animal shelter. It must not of been her day because the shelter refused to keep him. Perhaps they'd heard her complain about how much he could eat. She was really impressed at how nice a shelter it was. The kitties and doggies had separate suites and every animal had it's shots. There wasn't a single sickly looking animal. The kitties had two story cages wif hamocks and there was a room where the kitties got to come out and play wif toys. She even went into the doggie side and there was no doggie smell. Grandma doesn't know it but the biped is going back in a week or two to take pictures. I'm sure that has nothing to do wif da cute moma to be siamese that she saw there.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Bear bed Saturday

Is there a detective in da house? Every week its the same thing. Someone comes in and steals all my blankies. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Where are my snuggly sheets wif da polar bears on them? Harley, where are ya when I need ya?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Smartest Foster Mom on the block

As stated before Annie came from a no-kill shelter, what wasn't said was that she was picked because she was almost a spitting image of Al-lowishis. Dear sweet Al as he was usually called was the dumbest cat on earth. He lived wif da biped for 17 years and every time he walked underneath the coffee table he'd bang his forhead on it.

Biped only (((ONLY))) had four cats when she saw da want-ad in the paper. It read {{{Purebred Himalayan Kittens $15.00}}}. Biped hastily calls the lady and said, "Are the Purebred Kittens only $15.00 or was that a misprint?" The nice lady replied they sure are. So biped makes an appointment to come over the next day and gets up real early in da morning (no small feat) and drives to the lady's house. The kitchen had at least 10 kittens wandering around but biped couldn't see anything that looked like a Himalayan. She asks the lady, "Where are the Himalayan kittens?" And the lady says....

"I'm sorry, someone just took the last one, but I have these cute kittens for just $5.00 and they've even had their first shots."

Can anypurr find da word SUCKER in da cat dictionary?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

We're Thankful for Spring in da Ozarks

It's too bad it ISN'T, we'd be a lot more thankful then. Biped put da spring picture up so we wouldn't forget what the world will look like in a month or so.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

100% Organic Kitty Litter

Dat's what our Grams tells the biped. Get in here! Look at dat Kitty Litter on me bed! Actually she luvs us Kitty Litter, she just luvs to harass the biped more.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Toesies Tuesday

Good day Mates,, dat's me's kiwi voice. Today I'm pretending to be a kiwi kitty because its nice and warm in New Zealand and its still icy here in Missouri. It hasn't snowed for a week but what fell out of the sky is still out in the yard. The biped says it looks just like a sheet of marble (the marbling coming from da dogs I presume) and just as slick. The bird feeders are all empty and the squirrels are mad. Today they tried to mug Grandma out on the porch. She left the lid open to the chicken feed and when she got back there was a squirrel in the bin stuffing his face. Before the biped got da words out of her mouth, Grandma said, "No he's not!"

Did you mean "mrooww"?

Handsome, single, cat Willie receives a message from his true love Daisy. She says "Meow". He runs to Biped and says, "Daisy loves me!" Biped explains that Meow doesn't necessarily mean that Daisy loves him. It could mean nothing more than hello.

Willie cat then goes onto the internet to prove that Biped is wrong, AGAIN. He finds the English/cat Dictionary and the translations of the word "Meow"..

Cat To English Dictionary

Cat Phrase -- Meaning

** miaow -- Feed me.

** meow -- Pet me.

** mrooww -- I love you.

** miioo-oo-oo -- I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.

** mrow -- I feel like making noise.

** rrrow-mawww -- Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.

** rrrow-miawww -- I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.

** miaowmiaow -- Play with me.

** miaowmioaw -- Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?

** mioawmioaw -- Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.

** raowwwww -- I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.

** mrowwwww -- I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.

** roww-maww-roww -- I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.

** mmeww -- I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.

** gakk-ak-ak -- My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.

** mow -- Snuggling is a good idea.

** moww -- Shedding is pretty good, too.

** mowww! -- I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.

** miaow! miaow! -- I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.

** mraakk! -- Oh, small bird! Please come over here.

** ssssroww! -- I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave.

** mmmmmmm -- If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Wordless Mancat

With deese looks, who has to say anyting.

ps Shecats,
Dis fur is single...

Willie, the Hillbillie Ozark Mountain Cat

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Me, Grandma and a good book. Life couldn't be any better.