Priceless!

biped...."She'd almost given up hope of finding her baby when the call came this week. Someone came into the Joplin shelter with a picture of a stray cat that they'd been feeding. The workers had talked to her so many times that they just knew it had to be her kitty."

Thankful Thursday....

ollie...."Here I am. Abandoned again... Starving for both food and attention."




ding ding ding ding....

ollie....."Giggle, giggle, that got her attention. I am such a baaaad boy."



olllie...."The last straw.... The poor starving kitty faints. "

biped....."Ah poor Ollie... You must have low blood sugar..I think you need some Temptations."



ollie...."Works everytime."

Forgiven?

biped...."Ok guys am I forgiven? Here is a cat quilt for you."

ollie...."Do you have the fabric or is it going to cost us Temptations?"

biped...."Uhhh, no I don't have the fabric. Maybe someone will buy it for me for Christmas."



ollie...."Hey I have an idea! Dumb and Dumber can give up THEIR treats."

biped....."For the next ten years. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

Wednesday in da Ozarks...

major....."Now this is a magazine that needs to be banned!"

ollie....."That' down right x-rated."



major...."I can't look at it."



biped....."Yep the cat kids want my quilt magazine banned cuz it has a dog quilt on the front page. Course their antics may just back fire on them just like it did on the local school district. When some parents demanded that the book Slaugther House 7 banned and over night there was a waiting list of 40 people who wanted to read it."

Mornful Monday....

ollie....."It's been a rough weekend. It rained a lot, it got cold. We got cold, we asked the biped to turn on the big heater, that meant she had to bang and clang and clean filters that were embarrassingly full of dog hair."

dumb & dumber...."Ahem, that would be cat hair."

ollie....."Dog ha.... and it got really quiet cuz the biped was saying those unprintable four letter words in rapid sucession."

D&D...."It appears that the cat hair has plugged up some drain part on the heater/air conditioner and water has collected and made a huge puddle and to make bad things worse...."

ollie....."the biped switched the air conditioner to heater, and after the normal smell of burning dog hair faded nothing happened."

D&D...."absolutely nothing. No warm air flowing thru the house, just a sickning buzzing sound followed by silence."

ollie...."then when things couldn't get any worse...."



ollie....."The red headed stepcat got out started stalking us."



biped..."The red headed step cat was actually very nice and gave Heesh a kiss before eating all his kibble and retiring to her room."



Ollie....."Thank goodness for all those blankies that we got from Peggy's Place. Between them and global warming we should be nice and cozy till God gets around to healing our heater. I'm sure that the biped was only joking when she said that it would take a month of Sunday's before she could afford a bag of Temptations again."

Sibcat Rivalry

major...."Hey Annie! It looks like your butt's getting bigger every day!"

smudge..."Quess you're going to have to give up eat'n ice cream with Grandma..."



annie...."Go ahead and make fun of my beehind. If you think that's big you should check out my smile."

Wednesday in da Ozarks...

biped...."What are you looking at? Do you have a bug trapped in the sink?



biped...."Maybe you have a lizard."



biped....."Uhhhh, you're stalking a lid.??!



major....."Hush biped, it's not just any lid. It's a Friskie's lid and could have a great big glob of yum stuck to the bottom side."



biped...."I've heard of the great white hunter before, but never the great Glob hunter."

I've been robbed!

joplin...."Remember the last time the carrier came out and I went to visit the nice vet?"

joplin...."and after I visited the nice man I got to go to sonic and get hot dogs and milk shake?"



joplin...."Well this time the carrier came out, and the biped said it's only $5.00, and I thought oh boy, I'm going to get upgraded and get a $5.00 burger but instead I got taken to the cheap cow vet and he stold my Hoo-Haws. After that I was soo sleepy that I can't remember if I got my hamburger or not."

biped...today...."Baby Joplin has recovered enough to climb up into the attic and gallop around. His feelings are still hurt but a dish of grandma's ice cream will most likely sooth them, and yes the cheapo biped did pay $5.00 for the hoo-haw-etomy. A long time ago she asked her vet tech friend what the difference was between the expensive vet and the cheapo spay clinic and she said, "The quality of the furniture in the lobby. Thinking about it she remembers that the cow vet doesn't even have furniture for the customers."

Fashion Friday.....

joplin...."I am not Daisy. I will not be a model cat! There is no project runway in my future!"



joplin...."NO! I said no modeling. What don't you understand?"



joplin...."Yummm, you get treats for modeling? Well maybe I'll try again next week."

Wordy Wed.

major...."Remember when you were a little kid, and you went to the dentist and he had a drawyer full of toys and candy?"

major...."Well at our house we have a drawyer too. And it has nip goodies in it."



major...."Sometimes you have to dig really deep."



major...."Wow, now I know how those gold miners feel. I've hit the motherlode. Not only did I find nip, I found a nip mouse."



major...."I better get outta here before that mean ole annie takes my toy away."

Tuesday in the Ozarks...

joplin...."I got to go over and visit the big house today. The biped's been hiding this guy from me."



joplin...."Aaaah, life is good."

When good cats go Bad....

major...."My feelings are really hurt."

smudge...."How come?"

major...."All those visitors on my last post said I was up to no good."



smudge...."I wonder why they'd say such things."

major...."I don't know either. I really try to be good."



smudge...."Uh what are you trying to do now?

major...."Well I've been listening to the biped's gripes about the kitty litter being scattered all over the place."



major...."So I make sure I wash my paws off before I walk across the her desk."