Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fall in da Ozarks.....

smudge...."Yup it's fall here and the biped's going to get the narrow side of the bed from now on."

biped...."The real narrow side."

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Mexico Goat revisited

smudge...."The biped fell asleep at the computer while doing our photos and when she woke up the camera had deaded so we're forced to put up a picture of our buddy, the facebook goat from Mexico Missouri. The last time we'd posted about him he'd just been purchased for $2,500.00 along with two mini donkeys. So here is Billy's picture. It was taken by either Donkey or Donkey."

smudge...."Lets see it's been about two weeks since an update. Last Monday there was no post and everyone was worried. Well we found out on Tuesday that Donkey and Donkey were playing tag with the Alpaca and kicked over the satelite dish and they couldn't connect to the internet. Then Wed it rained and Billy worried that he was going to get zapped by lightning because of his horns. It rained sooo much that their barn flooded (it's always flooding somewhere in Missouri) and their hay got all wet. Donkey and Donkey swiched their hay with the Alpacas cuz he was on the dry side of the barn."

smudge...."Last but not least Billy is recruiting "friends" for a car dealership. For every friend he recruits the dealership will donate a $1.00 to the "Give the Boot to Cancer Campaign".

smudge...."You all have a good week Bloggie friends. We'll be sleeping in seeing as its supposed to rain. Purrrz"

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Cat Tractor Arrives.....

biped...."The Fedex lady brought a big flat box today. It was our new Cat Tractor, coffee table, and/or bar for the kitchen depending what room its in."

major....."You see here a cute carry case. Very interesting."

major...."It comes out of the suitcase and unfolds."

major...."I made the biped move really slowly in case the thing exploded like those Walmart catcubes do. It was quite well behaved though so caution was a waste of time."

major...."And wif a little poof it unfolded and filled up the entire kitchen. Ollie almost knocked me over getting inside."

major....."Then the mean biped made us all get out so she could turn it over. We had it upside down. And then before we could climb back in she put Joya in it."

major...."You all shoulda been there. She yowled, she hissed, she pulled on the door with her claws. She totally ignored all the neat catnip toys and walked around with her tail whipping back and forth."

biped...."I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that all the cats sat outside the cube staring in at her.

Friday, September 24, 2010

A major hangover....

biped...."What's this?"

biped....."and this?"

biped...."Oh my, then there's this."

smudge....."Giggles....Looks like the Major has a little hang over problem."

smudge...."Yep, looks like Uncle needs to buy us the Super Sized Kitty Condo for Christmas this year."

grandma...."I think the biped needs to super size our trailer before that happens."

Adopt us!....

brian...."We deserve it."

biped...."I love that saying. Brian is right, they do deserve a good home. Isn't the puppy cute? Adopted from a big name pet store along with it's sibling. The husband got them for the wife. The wife took them back to the store on the second day because the husband couldn't stand the crying and scratching. The store politely showed the wife the no return clause in the contract and the cuties ended up in a rescue organization called Heart Bandits in St. Louis. They were lucky. It's one of the nicer rescue organizations."

biped...."Meet Princess. She is an AKC registered American Eskimo. There's oodles of Prince's, and Duke of this and that on her papers. Her owners got divorced. The wife got the kid, the husband got ?, and Princess got a trip to Fresno California and Heart Bandits."

biped..."What an amazing rescue organization. The group, a husband and a wife, had eight Eskie's living with them in a single wide mobile home. They were allowed two small pets.so the wife was sure to take just two out a time. I think of that couple every time I hear someone say that they had to get rid of their pet because the apartment wouldn't allow it.

"I "met" Princess about 90 miles from Fresno at a rest stop. Dan had taken her and five other Eskie's up there to meet a lady who was going to adopt one. She took a 10 year old male that had epilepsy. Princess drug Dan across the parking lot so she could give grandma a kiss. We didn't get her that day. Both Grandma and I fainted when the man said he wanted $200.00 for a "used" dog. We went seperate ways and I kept thinking about her. A week before Christmas I emailed them the application. The day I emailed them they had repossed her from a couple. The wife didn't like how she pee'd on her foot when they got home from work and they took her out of the crate that they kept her in. On Christmas Eve the man child hating Princess moved in. That musta been one heck of a family she came from because she still hates men and kids."

biped...."Then there was Joya. There isn't much demand for used brindle kitties. Throw in the fact that she slobbers on you, is almost histerical trying to rub all over you and She needs to be an only cat because no matter what you tell her, she thinks that she's a pit bull and that cats are for chasing and whapping."

biped...."Oh btw, I think I found my Cat Tractor. Terry over at Furrydance took a picture of a contraption at a cat show and I've managed to order it. I'm hoping that Joya will like it. If nothing else it will be a safe house for the nip toys, seeing as Angel Dog can eat them faster than I can unwrap them."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dear Sparkle's Book

annie....."Is there anything in that book about how to wake a sleeping biped?"

grandma...."Yup, it looks like its on page 121."

annie...."Well what does it say?"



annie...."I wonder if Sparkle covers catnapp'n grandma's in her book."

ps....The biped really enjoyed Sparkle's new book. She thinks that it would make a great gift for any cat lover, but a must have for a novice or first time cat owner.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Wordless Wed....

sound of bloggie friends all going ahhhhhhh...

biped....."Bloggie friends you've been duped. Annie isn't being sweet to grandma. Ahhh Contraire....she's sucking up cuz Grandma bought a carton of Vanilla ice cream and she wants her share.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


biped....."They may not look like it, but they're inseperable."

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Busy Weekend....

smudge....."Biped, This is embarassing! What are we going to tell our bloggie friends???"

biped...."What now ole grouchy one?"

smudge...."We didn't have a pirate post yesterday. We didn't have a post all weekend!!"

biped..."We could tell them that we were busy teaching the Major how to do the dishes."

smudge...."I don't see much washing going on there."

biped....."Oh she's rinsing them now. She knocked them off the counter and let dumb and dumber do the actual washing.

smudge...."Sigh, I think I'd rather my bloggie friends just think we were lazy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Major's Boyfriend... or maybe not

major..."Hey Handsome! You wanna come home with me?"

simple simone...."Oh Jeez, another Cougar!"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Double Trouble

ollie...."If I lay up here and you lay on the mouse, she'll get really pissed."

major...."Yes Sensei, but what does that accomplish."

ollie...."When she gets really pissed she opens a can of food in the kitchen to "distract" you."

major...."Oh sensei you are sooo wise."

Monday, September 13, 2010

We need a Cat Tractor...

smudge...."Biped, you don't make many mistakes, but you sure did this time."

biped...."What to you mean Smudgikins?"

smudge...."When you named that thing you should of named her The Terminator."

biped...."You mean your sweet little sister Joya? Thats not very nice."

smudge...."You really gotta do something with her. She attacked the baby and chased her to the top shelf of the cat tree."

biped...."Well I'm afraid you're right. I think we need to get our bloggie friends to help us design a cat tractor."

smudge...."A cat what?"

biped....."A cat Tractor. It's just like a chicken tractor but smaller. With a chicken tractor, the chickens are put inside and every day the humans move the tractor to a different location. It keeps the chickens safe from predators but allows them freedom. It also protects things like plants which chickens love to eat."

biped...."Here's a couple pictures of chicken tractors. I figure a cat tractor needs to be light enough for Joya (The terminator) to move around, but strong enough to keep her paws on the inside so she can't wap or bite anyone."

biped...."So bloggie friends we await your cat tractor designs"

smudge...."Please, please bloggie friends. Think of the baby."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Only in Missouri...

biped...."It all started about a week ago in the little town of Mexico Missouri. A goat suddenly appeared, wandering around in down town. It's main objective was to humiliate the local dog catcher and police. It did a really good job."

biped...."The towns people delighted in its ability to avoid capture and named the goat, Billy Gruff Goat. Billy avoided capture and car collisions for two or three days and then suddenly........"

biped...."Billy learned to type. The next thing he did was sign up for Facebook. Just like everyone he started out with a few supportive friends."

supportive friend...."RUN FREE BILLY! Don't let them catch you."

biped....."Then a cute goat from Indiana chimed in that she was interested in Billy. It seems from the bulge in her mid-section that she might have been interested in someone else too."

biped...."Within a couple days Billy had a couple thousand fans following his movements. Even people from New Zealand were sending him well wishes."

biped...."Then the unthinkable happened. No not that tire screeching unthinkable thing, the other one. Some yahoo went home, got his horse and caught poor Billy. His fight for freedom was over. All this information was funneled to his growing following, now way over 5,000 people by Billy typing messages on his facebook account."

"Well the cowboy took Billy to the local stockyard where they held him captive. Thank goodness he managed to get a generator started and an old computer cranked up so he could keep sending messages to his online family."

biped...."By Monday he had over 7,000 friends and an emergency city council meeting scheduled to determine his fate. Would he be adopted by the SPCA?, or would it be BBQ City for Mr. Goat. At the meeting it was decided that he was a goat (duh) and thus not a pet so he was off to the auction yard. Doomsday was Thursday, after lunch."

biped..."Early wed. morning t-shirts were being printed to raise money for Billy's rescue fund. By 2pm Wed. Billy managed to get a bank account opened. Oh they had also added two minie donkeys to his pen. They were named Donkey and Donkey. They too miraculously learned to type. For example while he was at the auction, they were left to type messages on Facebook."

biped...."By about 8pmish Wed., billy got a Pay Pal account. Now he was cooking. He was getting money from all over the world., and the fights began. Several posters were afraid that Billy was some sort of Algueda spy raising money for evil people. There was one poor poster that kept popping on saying, "Please, please, don't let them fool you. There's no way goats can type." This person sounded very nice and sincere. I swear she thought that all of us "city folk" really thought that Billy Gruff Goat was typing messages."

biped...."Then D-day came. Billy was paraded around the arena. Actually beeing a stubborn goat he mostly just stood there and the bidding began. After much haggling the agreed price for Mr. Billy Gruff Goat was $2,500.00. The stock yard donated the money to the Spca and Billy and Donkey and Donkey were hauled off to a happy farm with a nice barn. Billy is resting up and Donkey and Donkey are watching Andy Griffith episodes on an ole tv."

biped...."It seems like there may be no end for Billy. So if you want to "follow" him just do a search for "The Mexico Goat" on face book. Billy said that he may post photos tomorrow of the farm if he can figure out how to hold the camera."

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Winners are!

smudge......"Concatulations to the Woofies and Kitties dat won our first ever MO cats contest."

Woofie Fenris won a set of designer flannel pillow cases.

smudge....."The Crew and SuziQcat were winners of deesigner pillow cases."

smudge....."And the woofies at Jan's Funny Farm won a pair of cotton pillow cases."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Mo Cat Contest

Smudge....."Wow, did ya'll hear da news? "

oliie....."What news?"

Smudge....."They've gone and made a day just for us! Today is Missouri Cats day."

ollie......"Look! Da sweet Zoolarty lady made us a banner."

biped...."Uh, guys"

Smudge....."Shush biped. You just type. "

Ollie......"Yeah, since it's Mo cats day I think we should have a contest. Let's see rules....Leave a comment on today's post. Leave a way to contact you in case you win da prize. We'll have to work wif da biped on da prize. It may be a pair of deesigner pillow cases."

dumb and dumber....."There will be a seperate prize for a doggie that posts da Mo_Cats day banner on der blog."

Wordy Wed...

major....."Aren't ya happy? It's Wednesday! You've made it to hump day.

major....."Me knows dat I'm happy. On Thursday I get to go back to the vet to visit my boyfriend, Simple Simon. I may try to sneak him into the PTU and bring him home wif me."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Toesie Tuesday

biped...."Just imagine how big the major is going to be if she grows into those big toesies!!?

Monday, September 6, 2010

Mancat Monday

ollie...."No biped... I can't get off da keyboard. I am too weak to move see'n as you forgot to gib me any Fancy Feast yesterday.

ollie...."And if I don't get two cans today, to make up for it, I just may hide the remote control for your tv so all you can watch is Swamp People.

ps.....Swamp People is a new series on history channel. Ollie doesn't know it but both grandma and da biped really like it. It shows how the people who live in the Louisiana swamps make a living. There's lots of neat accents and gator hunting.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Mz cAtitude!

biped...."Smudge! Quit jumping on the furniture."

smudge....."Ahh biped, I wannna excercise."

biped....."I know, but everytime you run up the back of the couch and to the top of the bookcase the Major has to copy you."

smudge....."Why don't you just tell her not to climb on the furniture?

biped....."I've tried. But she seems to have a mind of her own."

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Innie or Outie?

biped....."The Major decided that she wanted everyone to see her new belly button. She was back to normal today pestering Smudge.

biped....."I think she may of had laser surgery because there is barely any incision at all and just one stich."

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Recovery Time

biped....."The major is home and is in the quiet room."

biped...."Smudge, Princess and Ollie are doing their best to break into the quiet room. It's going to be a very long night."