Christmas in July by da Ozark Mountain Cats

ollie...."Do you see what da biped's doing?"
heesh...."Yeah, she's making Grandma wrap Christmas presents."
sheesh..."But it's only July!"
ollie...."It's Christmas in July and she's getting ready to mail a big box."
heesh...."Grandma, Is dat red thing going in da box?"



grandma...."Yes Sweetie."
Heesh...."Poor kitties."
annie...."Better them than us."

Re-decorating da Cat Den

annie...."keep pushing biped., you'll get da buffet in da dining room,"
ollie...."I don't think it should go in da dining room. If you put it there then our sewing machine won't fit."
biped...."Your sewing machine? When did you start sewing?"
ollie.... "I woulda said "bird watching table" but you never fill da feeders so its just an old sewing machine table now."



heesh...."Did you notice what da biped bought us?"
annie...."What da Morgan bed that's STILL in da box?"
heesh...."No da new cat sized rugs that don't smell like doggies."
annie...."I'd rather she'd bought sum bird seed instead."

Is it a Dream?

biped...."The dreaded corner, complete with a phone line coming up through the floor."




annie...."Give it a good wap biped!"

Totally Uncouth

ollie...."Da biped pounded and pounded and smashed things like fingers and such and got all the way across the dining room wif da new floor. She only has one row left (da hardest because there's no wapping room) which she promises to get done on Thursday. Tomorrow is a sewing day at da Church. And Why might you ask do I say that its Totally Uncouth?





ollie...."Because da biped had just crawled into her room when Dumber decided it was dinner time. She gingerly picked up peices of kibble and hauled it out onto the new floor where she would drop it. Then she'd slobber all over da pretty floor and run back to da dish and get another peice. And wouldn't you know it! She'd run to a different spot to drop it and start the slobber process over again leaving little gummy peices of kibble all over da place. Now if you'll excuse me its time to bug da biped for some Temptashuns."

Sweet Dreaming BoyCat

ollie here....."Dreaming of a finished redecorated home. Da biped has made it down the hallway, and around da built in bar that sits at a weird angle and is in da home strech. Da new living room curtains wif da floofy ruffles are finished and just need pressing and hanging. And QUESS what we get when da biped finishes! A bramd new Morgans BEd.! Of course we're not at all interested in the presents dat Morgan included in da box."

Sick of Sick Animals & bad food

ollie...."Da biped has been doubling up on her happy pills lately because of losing brother Willie and then Dumb and Dumber getting sick. Dumb was just sick for an afternoon but it scared da biped when she could just barely make it out and back. Of course this happened on da weekend. Then last weekend Dumber got major sick. She ran back and forth between da biped's room and grandma's throwing up. Dat last Friday night thru Sunday when all of a sudden she was miraculously cured and wanted to be fed... NOW!. Then this Friday night Giggles started barfing. Almost the exact symptoms as Dumber. Da biped has checked for any chemicals, washed water dishes, carpets and found nothing that could cause the symptoms. The only thing common between da cats and dogs is Cat food. Dumber is a big thief, Dumb not so much. So this weekend we switch our dry food (again) and open a brand new bag and da biped finds about a quarter of the bag is filled with kibble dust."


biped...."I was really ticked off with an $8.00 bag of dust when I noticed that the cat's Dental food has a NEW look. Is this stuff "safe?" Is it going to create another problem? Then I thought....."


biped...."Silly me! Of course its safe. There's never any "BAD" kitty food. The company is just being politically correct and including easy to eat dental food dust for da kitties dat don't have any toofies left. I do think dat dey should include little spoons in da bag because da dust keeps getting stuck in their whiskers."

An Ozark Fashion Statement

biped....."Da well floofed Ozark Mountain Cat doesn't need to wear clothing to make his fashion statement. Today he is posing aunaturale on his favorite chair. The only thing missing in da picture is da biped typing away on da computer."