Our New Dog...... bed

Reporter ollie here...."This is our new dog......bed that the biped bought for Dumb or Dumber. Neither one of them like the new hardwoodish floors. Our new dog Heeshish (who looks an awful lot like our old cat Heesh) really likes da new bed and he won't let his sisters dumb and dumber lay on it. Da biped has now gone out and bought a new rug for the dogs to lay on. Its a very pretty red. I think I'll look very handsome on da red rug. We'll let you know if I get it or da dumb dogs."

Our Rich City Cousin

ollie..."Look what our silly city cousin got from her papa!"


ollie..."Its a three story cage wif hammicks. Uncle puts her in it and den he sits inside da house and watches her as she tries to catch the birdies that land near her." "If you look in da window you can see our silly cousin Shredder." "If you are thinking dat's a dumb name, well we all agree wif you." "Da biped likes it better than the first name that Uncle gave her. At first her name was Lindy (da biped's name, sort of). Uncle said Shredder was just like da biped. She likes to play all night and sleep all day"

Do cats get hang overs?

ollie to heesh...."Have you seen Smudge?"
heesh.... "He's face down in da litter box."
ollie..."Do you tink he's alive?"
heesh..."Let's poke him"
smudge...."Moan..." "
ollie... "I tink dat da pawty tat had too many tequilla tacos"
smudge....."groan."
ollie to heesh...."Hey look the dead has risen!"
heesh.... "Sumting is wrong wif him?"
ollie..."You mean da kitty litter on his nose?"
heesh...."No, dat he has his head screwed on backwards"
ollie...."You're right, dat must really hurt."

It's Pawty Time

smudge...."Biped, get in da kitchen and start dos tacos!

Hey! There's a thief here.

ollie...."It was sauna day. The warm sheets were laid out on da bed. Da biped had just finished my massage and then suddenly I was
ATTACKED by a grey sheet thief!"



ollie... "Biped! Da sheet thief is trying to steal my warm sheets!"
willie..."Da Sheet Sheriff here! Relinquish dose sheets or I will melt you wif my laser eyes!"
biped....."If you two don't quit fighting I'm going to wiggle my nose and turn you into frogs."



willie...."Ollie is dat you?"

Quacamole Recipe

..."Inspector Ollie here making sure that all the ingredients get in da bowl and not in da biped or worse yet, Dumb and Dumber.

"Above is a picture of all the ingredients, except for da mayonaise." "Da biped is making enough Quacamole for 3 people so she got 2 huge avocados. You'll notice in the picture below dat there is no brown spots (bruises). This is because she got the hard ones and let them ripen naturally."



"She cut da avocado's in half, and then scooped dem out wif a big spoon and put dem in da bowl. She threw da pits in da compost bucket. (Some peoples tell you to put da pits in da bowl to keep da quacamole from turning brown but dats an old wives tale."

"She takes a pinch of da cilantro and chops it up very finely. It plays a big part in flavoring da quacamole, but is rather strong if you get a big chunk." "Dat goes into da bowl along wif a clove to two of garlic which has been crushed on cut up really really teensy."

"For our "dip" she put less than a tablespoon of the cilantro." If Cilantro was a character in a play, she would have a walk on part. You can see her, but she's in da background."

So to refresh,
you have a bowl wif two avocado's, a pinch of cilantro (finely chopped), garlic and then you cut your lemon in half and squeeze (carefully no Seeds Please) about a teaspoon over the ingredients in da bowl. Do the same wif da lime. Cut in half squeeze about a teaspoon." These two characters (Lemon & Lime) are walk on's too. Dey give a little flavor and keep your quacamole pretty green.



"Then da biped cuts up da jalapeno and puts it in da bowl. She cuts it very finely. She only wants da flavor and not da heat. This is why she doesn't give traditional ingredient measurements. Some like it hot and some not so its up to da cook."

At dis point da biped takes da potato smasher thingy and mashes it all together. She doesn't want Grandma to take a big ole dip and get a whole bunch of peppers or cilantro.



"Da yummies in da bowl have all been mixed together and da biped adds about three quarters of da tomato. This is where our recipe varies from da resteraunt ones. Da biped was taught to make quacamole by a real authentic Mexican. Now she's not sure if he learned how to make it from a real Mexican or perhaps he really wanted to bug his mother and added tomatos to aggravate her but whatever it was, it makes da quacamole come to life!" "She also cuts up and adds da green onions. She likes da smaller, younger green onions and uses two or three tops and just a little of da white part. You quessed it, da onion only has a minor role too." She adds a couple heaping tablespoons Pace Picante Salsa and three or four huge tablespoons mayo.



"She gives da lemon and lime another squeeze being sure no seeds fall in and then mixes it all together. She adds a little black pepper. If she's going to serve it with low/no salt chips she adds a little salt. If she's using regular chips she skips da salt."

"She stirs it up and den squeezes a little lemon juice on top. She's still working wif half da lemon. She then wipes da sides of da bowl so there's no chance for it to turn brown. She says to stir it one more time just before you serve it."



"Refrigorate da lime, lemon, cilantro, and extra onions in a plastic bag because you'll be using them again if you're going to make da chicken tacos." "Purrz, Ollie!"

Fluff and quacamole ingredients

It's a rainy Missouri day so we can't take any Mayflower pictures. Instead we have a picture of Smudge making bread in Willie's belly. Da biped thought you might be going to the store in the next couple days so you'll need the rest of the ingredients for your quacamole. So here goes!

a lemon
2 limes
1 jalapeno pepper
a bunch of cilantro (it kinda looks like parseley)
a small bunch of those bunch type tomatos (or 2 nice ripe tomatos)
a package green onions
a garlic bulb

a medium sized jar of chunky (MILD) Pace Picante salsa (unless you already have salsa)
** a package of cream cheese (optional)
a bag of Resteraunt Style Corn chips (do not get the doritto (flavored) type. You don't want to mask the taste of your quacamole
* a jar of mayonaise (I use the light variety)


** The cream cheese isn't for the quacamole, but rather is used with the left over jar of Pace salsa to make another yummy dip



Now these addtional ingredients are requested by Heesh, who is still miffed about the chicken incident earlier in the week.

1 huge or 2 nice sized roasting chickens (makes enough for 2 humans and 7 cats)
1 package corn tortillas
1 package grated mexican cheese or cheddar cheese
1 small can diced Green Chiles (be careful to get green chiles and not the canned jalapeno's) (If you buy the Ortega brand you'll see a little thermometer on the can. It will be just above mild heat)

Heesh suggests that you bake the chickens for your normal Sunday dinner. Enjoy!

On Monday allocate removing the left over chicken from the bones to your servant. Be sure its shared it with your feline friends. (I believe that Heesh requested the second chicken so that there will be plenty to share).