Major goes to the Oscars

major...."Hey biped, Did you get this dress from the Oscars?!"

biped...."Sure sweetie..."



major...."Which star wore it?

smudge...."Da one that didn't win anything."



major...."Dat wasn't nice brother."

smudge...."I was nice, I didn't mention your double chin."

Major Brat...

major...."The biped has sumthin called insombia. That means she lays in bed at night but her eyes don't close. She looks alot like my orange teddy cat."

major....."Me thinks that it may have sumthin to do wif Anniecat. In dis picture I'm pretending to be Annie. You notice I have my mouth really close to da teddy's (biped's) ear. dats so she can hear my purr'ng. Loud purring is very reassuring. And in case I wake up, I have my paw on her head so I can make bread."



major...."Here I am showing how Anniecat surrounds da biped's head. Sumnights I bites her on da nose just for fun, ooops, I mean Annie bites her. She likes to pat da biped's face wif her paws. You notice how da biped has turned sideways in da bed? She does that alot. Sumnights her toes hang over the edge of da bed. Smudge likes to pretend dat her toesies are chubby mice. I'm sure dat doesn't have a thing to do wif her insombia."

Public Service Announcement

major...."Major here with a public service announcement. You'all know how we feared abandonment when da biped signed up for dat facebook thing?"

major...."First she went off and made 230 new friends, then she started a farm. Then as we all laid there unpetted, our hair matting with every single breath, she signed up for a frontier game, and then a cafe aaaand a treasure island so she could earn a make believe cat. Can you imagine that? A make believe cat to feed make believe kibble, oh wait, the cats don't get fed on the farm game, just the dogs, where's the justice with that?"

major...."And then over Christmas week, she started a new city, which she named Angeltown, not CatTown, and there we laid all depressed watching the lights of the fake city illuminate the desktop..."



major...."We were about to commit harricarry, when we met a cat named Wanda over on Catster. Wanda the cat is a VERY smart cat that does her own public service announcements and I must admit that she changed our lives. CatFriends, we the Ozark Mountain Cats think Wanda is the best thing to come along since Temptations. And we can tell you that you have nothing to fear from that FACEBOOK thing. We suggest that you Encourage your humans to sign up just as soon as you read Wanda's latest public service announcement."



major...."that is right after she fills up the fridge with all kinds of yummies. ps...Don't forget the freezer part. Dats where they store the shrimps and ice cream."

Camo Cat

major...."Look at what da biped bought me! Major colored sheets! I'm like one of those lizards that change color to match my enviornment."



major....."Look out now! Camo Cat will gitcha."



biped...."Right after she finishes her nap."

I wuv my dawg....

biped...."yes, the ugly, ragged, computer/sewing chair still exists. It will not fit in the car, we have no garbage collector to take it away so it sits there being further abused by the Ozark Mtn gang. I have sworn several times to tether it to the next feral dog that drops by our house in hopes that both of them would disappear together but so far the dogs have taken one look at it and took off running. unlike the dogs, the cats think its their personal jungle gym."

sound of toe nails ripping thru polyester fabric....

smudge...."grunt, grunt, give me dat dog!"

major...."Bipeeeedd! smudge is being mean again..."

major manages to spin the chair around thus dislodging his brother. Believe it or not, that chair travels all over the living room and kitchen powered by nothing more than major."



major...."Quit lurking behind da chair. I'll sic my dawg on ya!"



major...."Good dawg, you scared da mean puddy tat!"

Have a Happy Friday....

ollie....""It sure is a lotta work getting all"



ollie....slurp slurp...



ollie....."da....."



ollie...."floof to fluff."



ollie...."You'all have yourself a happy Friday, and Saturday and Sunday too!"

Shelter Kritters....

major...."It's time to head for da hills brethren!

smudge...."Whatsup? Not the spring trip to the animal shelter?"



major...."Is it safe to come out? Did she bring somefur home with her?"

grandma...."Oh biped, you were gone so long that we started to worry."

major...."Yes we were very worried. Did you see anything cute?"




biped...."They only had a few kittens. I talked a lady into taking the cute little black one."


biped...."I almost didn't get away. They had lots of ankle biters running lose."



biped...."The shelter got a gift of food from Royal Canin so all the kitties this year will have only the best food."

major...."So did you bring back the kibble that you stold from us?"

biped...."Nope, they kept the kibble to give to local people who can't afford to feed their animals. That way they hope people will be able to keep their pets.