A little Catitude in the Ozarks...

biped......"The mail lady brought our secret paw presents today, but there's a slight problem....

Smudge....."It's mine.....All mine."

Cyber Fever!

Ollie....."Wow, do you remember when it looked like that.

 

Smudge....."I don't think it ever looked like that.  It's always looked like its been run through a shredder.

 

Ollie....."It looked like that when we were young, a long time before you came along.

 

Smudge....."Well it looks like this now."

Ollie...."I don't know what's worse.  The fact that its deaded, or the fact that any minute she'll come in here with a roll or duck tape to "fix" it."

Smudge......"For sure.  And then there'll be that lecture about apprechiating the things that we have.

Ollie....."Yeah, Yeah..... Be happy.  Think about the kitties in the woods that don't have anything."

            ********click*******

Smudge....."Well we'll be happy to donate this one to the poor little darlings just as soon as our new one gets here.

Ollie....."Hey push the button again and we can buy one for our secret pal."

                              *******click******click******

Ollie ......"I heard an extra click."

Smudge....."Yeah, I got one for the cats in the woods."

Ollie......."You mean the cats who used to be in the woods who are now the bedroom cats?

Smudge ........"Yeah those cats."

ps.....This is the most pathetic looking cattree ever made.  My brother gave it to the cats about five years ago and the they absolutely loved it.  We have a six foot tall one that got played with once and then ignored.  The  cats choose this one.  If you (the cat) get back about ten feet and runs like mad, it and cat starts sliding across the room from the impact.  Land on the top and grab the little red ball and it starts twirling in a circle like some kind of demented carnival ride.  Twirl enough and the scratching post and/or top falls off and you get to watch your human cuss as they have to reassemble it. Better yet,  let the 20+ pound cat sit on the top and the whole thing topples over and  it becomes a night hazard sure to trip up your human on his way to the bathroom  at 3 am.

Good Life Gus

Gus......."ZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

 

 Gus the cat discovers the true meaning of  Thanksgiving.  Good food, Good Friends and a Good Nap. (not necessarily in that order)

Brothers....

 

Anniecat......   "Uh, you know that the biped has spent a small fortune on fancy cat beds for you two...."

 

 

 

 

Anniecat....."You know, I can really commiserate with Daisy.  Brother's just don't have any common sense." 

 

 

Smudge....."Did you hear something?"

 

Heesh....."I think it was the squeaky front door.

 

 

Kibble Time

Lgk....."Wow, look at this human kibble."

 

Gus....."Wow that's really huge!"

Momcat...."Does it taste good?"

 

Lgk......"Not really.  It could use a little salmon juice."

 

Gus....."Hey, here comes the biped.  Maybe she's bringing the salmon juice."

 

 

 

Lgk...."No, its a cup of that hot steamy stuff."

 

Gus...."Hey, look!  She's dipping her kibble in the hot stuff."

 

Momcat....."Well that's insulting.  She sure is acting uppitty.  Everyone knows there isn't germs in kitty slobber."

Ain't he cute!

Biped......"Hey Mom,  come look at Heesh!"

Mom......."Uh, whaaaa?"

Biped....."Isn't he cute?!  He's the first one to use it."

Mom....."Ooooh my."

Ollie....."Oh my is right.  We're going to be kicked right outta da Ozarks."

The Over the Hill Gang...

biped....."Only people over 42ish years old will know what I'm living with.  Certainly people in their 60's will really relate.  I truly feel that I cursed myself when 30 years ago when I told my 80ish neighbor that she just needed to go to a different eye doctor and she'd be able to get decent glasses.  The reason I'm blabbering about failing eyesight and crappy eye glass makers is that Mom and I were sitting on the front porch the other night.  And Mom said,

MOm....."Look at that clump of grass walking across the driveway."

biped...."Mom, grass doesn't walk.  In our yard it bolts but it never  has been known to walk."


biped....."I had to sit there a few minutes before I saw what she was seeing.  There was about a square foot chunk of grass moving slowly across the yard."

biped....."I had to run inside and get the camera to take a picture of Mom's walking grass.

 

biped....."Look at the size of those claws.  I bet it could really do some damage if you tried to pick it.