heesh....."moan. grunt. gasping... hey biped!?"
biped....."Yes Heesh.?"
heesh....."Look at how much weight I lost."
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heesh....."see I can fit in the little bed now!"
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ollie....."I don't think it counts if you have to tie your feet together wif your tail in order to fit in da bed."
smudge...."It's going to be real ugly when he inhales."
HOG TIEDsmudge....."A long, long time ago, when da biped was a mere child, she had a doggie. One day, for some strange reason, her evil stepfather decided to show her how to hog tie a calf. Since they didn't have a calf to hog tie, he used da doggie. He began the hog tieing session giving step by step instructions."
ESF...."First you must take one back leg and the two front legs...."
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ESF...."and you wrap the little rope around dem three times. You tie a knot and then..."
smudge...."Just about then the little doggie tried to bite da evil step father."
ESF...waps doggie...biped starts crying, esf impatiently continues the hog tieing instructions. "You tie a knot and then you stand back and give the calf 8 seconds to get lose." sounds of cussing.
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smudge...."during the 8 second period the little doggie struggled to its feet, da rope fell off and it peed on da ESF's foot."
ollie...."It was about dat time da biped decided she wasn't going to be a cow girl when she grew up, seeing as she didn't like getting bit or peed on."